


The Queen' s Move

by Ksfly180



Series: A Grimm fairytale [3]
Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-10-15 13:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 22,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17529530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksfly180/pseuds/Ksfly180
Summary: Sequel to cost of the crown, 3rd in the seriesNicki (female nick) has chosen to take the fight to the Royals.  The Royals must learn to not cross a Queen.  Especially a Grimm Queen.  But can Nicki live with what she has to do?





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

Pain!

 

It burns!

 

It hurts!

 

It's squeezing my head, crushing my skull!

 

There's movement and voices.  There out there and I'm in here.  I'm in here.  I'm in the dark.  I'm in the dark.  I'm in the dark.

 

Movement.  

 

It hurts!

 

I'm moving.  Where I am is moving.   I've twisted over, facing down.  It's like being on a float out on the lake.  I'm floating.  Im floating on the dark.  I'm floating in a box.  But theres no water.

 

Hurts!

 

It burns!

 

It's crushing my bones!

 

There's something I should remember.  Something important.  Something inside me.  

 

It's not there anymore.

 

I died.

 

I died and it does too.

 

That hurts worse.  What's gone.  That it's gone.  That hurts worse.  I need to focus.  I need to focus.  I need to focus.  I need to focus.

 

I'm picked up.  My box is picked up. What's the word?  Carried.  Coffin.  My coffin is carried.  Two people hold me up.  One near my head and one near my feet.  They hold me up.  Why do they hold me up?

 

My feet drop.  Why?  I throw myself hard to the right.  My box falls but it's caught.  I'm caught.  My box is a trap.  My box is a prison.  I have to get out!

 

I snarl and kick and hit and jerk.  Snapping.  Something is snapping.  Bone on bone.  Snap.  Snap.  Snap.  Snap.  Snap.  It's me.  My teeth.  My teeth snap shut.  Biting.  I'm biting.   I'm biting.  Snap.  Snap.  Snap.  

 

Something rumbles near my head.  Something rumbles again at my box.  Something rumbles.  I know it.  I know it.  Rumbling.  Song.  Not song.  Song without words.  Song rumbling in your chest.  Humming.

 

I hear humming.  I know humming.  I hear humming I think of small.  I hear humming I think protect.  I hear humming I think soft.  Love.  I think love.  What do I love?  What is love?  

 

Love is soft.  Love is small.  Love is protect.  Love smiles.  Love laughs.  Love.  I know love.  I want to hold love.  Where is love?

 

I hear them talking.  Words I don't understand.  I hear doors opening and closing.  I hear a loud engine a bit further out.  Airplane.  I hear an airplane.  I hear an airplane.  I hear an airplane.

 

An engine rumbles.  A car.  No.  Something else.  Something enclosed.  A box in a box.  A truck or a van. 

 

We're moving.  Floating away.  No water.  Rolling?  Driving?  Driving.  We're driving away.  We're driving away.  

 

We're driving away.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

I can hear them.  They're talking.  Words I don't understand.  Lots of words.

 

The van stops.  I'm carried again.  My box rocking as I'm moved.  

 

I'm too hot.  I'm too cold.  Fire and ice.  Fire and ice.  Fire and ice.

 

Fire.

 

Ice.

 

I need to focus!

 

I need to focus.

 

My box is put down.  It's jarring.  There's voices.  Talking.  They're happy.  They're proud, boastful.  Arrogant.

 

They're a threat.  They are a threat.  They are a threat.

 

There's a click.  

 

Light.

 

I jump up!  

 

Fight!  

 

Screams.

 

Fight!  

 

Kill!  

 

Screams.

 

Kill!

 

The first face is dog like.  Sharp teeth.  I hit and grab and twist.  It falls.

 

Everything is red.  Screams.

 

A face, dark skin.  Something sharp, shiny.  I grab it and swing.  Red sprays.

 

Lots of red.  

 

Screams.

 

Warm red.  

 

Screams.

 

Wet red.

 

A grey suit.  Red tie.  A pale face and dark hair.  My hand grabs his throat.  Thick and warm and red.  Lots of red.

 

Screams.

 

Sharp teeth.  Dog like.  I leap up.  Twist and pull.  The body falls.  I drop with it.

 

Red.

 

Screams.

 

Teeth snap.

 

More red.

 

Dark suits.  Snarling.  Screaming.

 

More red.  Lots of red.  Lots of screams.

 

Bodies down.  Jump over them.  Fight!

 

Fight!

 

An older man.  White hair.  Scared green eyes.  He talks.  Pleads.  Not arrogant now!

 

Bite!

 

Red.

 

Screaming.

 

Hit!

 

Hit!

 

Hit!

 

Hit again and again and again.  Bones crunch.  Face falls in.  Lots of red and meat and red.

 

Run. 

 

Hit.

 

Red.

 

Screams.

 

Long teeth.  White fur.  Black stripes.  A punch in my stomach.

 

Pain.

 

Tired.

 

Tired.

 

Tired.

 

Nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

 

I wake on a couch.  Priest sits beside me, petting my hair.  My stomach hurts.  "What happened?"

 

His hand continues to sooth through my hair, "The Baron infected you.  I couldn't stop him so I used your corpse to get us on the plane.  I look enough like my brothers and no one looks too long at a Mauvis Dentis so no one noticed."

 

I frown at that.  How can they not notice that he wasn't their enforcer?  He smiles sadly, "You don't realise how different our King is from the others.  The Royals don't look to long at servants.  They don't care enough to."

 

How sad.  I may not know everything about our servants but I would recognize them anywhere.  "Did it work?"

 

Priest nods, "Yes, my Queen, it worked.  We've been gone five days.  I loaded you into the coffin and drove you in my brothers van to the airport where Prince Victor met us on his private jet.  He never suspected a thing."

 

A woman approaches.  She hands Priest a bottle of water and bows to me, woging into a mousehertz.  I try to smile a thanks as Priest helps me drink.  She backs away to give us privacy.

 

Priest speaks softly, "She was the only one who noticed I wasn't Augustus.  He has terrorized her for years.  The Royals thought it was amusing."

 

"Is she okay?"  I ask.  

 

He helps me sit up, slow and careful movements.  He answers softly, "She has scars and I doubt she will ever be comfortable near me but she asked for sanctuary and I didn't think you would mind."

 

I nod.  Yeah, I don't mind.  I just hope it doesn't upset Priest to much to have her near when she's a reminder of his family's cruelty.  "The Royals?"

 

He nods, "As an infected, you were very strong and vicious.  They are dead.  The King Frederick, crown Prince Victor, Prince Kenneth, Princess Yvonne, and about fifty hundjager guards."

 

Holy shit!

 

I did that?  How?  I remember red.  Lots of red.  I remember the king and Prince, vaguely.  How did just two of us kill so many?  I killed fifty four people.

 

I Killed fifty four people!

 

I Killed Fifty four people!

 

I Killed Fifty Four People! 

 

I can't breath!  I can't breath!  Priest grips the back of my neck, pressing me forward.  His voice soothing, "Breathe, my Queen, just breathe.  I'm here,  we're safe.  I have you, Nicki, just breathe."

 

I'm crying.  I know I am.  I can't stop.  I can't breathe.  I cling to Priest.  I cling and cry.  I cry and shake and sob.  Priest holds me.

 

It takes a while for me to calm.  Priest keeps talking, soothing me the whole time.  But once I calm he offers a gentle smile and brings out his phone.  A quick dial and then I hear his voice.  Sean!  "Sean!"

 

His voice is strained, "Nicki!  Nicki, I'm here.  I'm here."

 

I cry and tell him everything.  I apologise and plead and cry.  He shushed me and promises it's okay and assures me that Don is well and waiting for his mommy.  I want my Don!  I want my baby and I want Sean!

 

We're only a few hours out so Sean keeps me on the phone, on speaker, while he holds Don.  Donny crys a moment but when I sing our song he is soothed.

 

"A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain  
Softly blows over Lullaby Bay,  
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting,  
Waiting to sail your worries away.

It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain,  
And your boat waits down by the quay.  
The winds of night so softly are sighing,  
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.

So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain,  
Wave goodbye to cares of the day,  
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain  
Sail far away from Lullaby Bay.

So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain,  
Wave goodbye to cares of the day,  
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain  
Sail far away from Lullaby Bay."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

 

The plane lands smooth enough.  There's something to be said for having a private jet.  Is it even ours?  I don't even know who is piloting this thing.  I should probably ask but I trust Priest.  He's not worried so I'll try not to be.

 

It's difficult to hang up the phone but we're here.  I'll have them in my arms soon enough. When the door is let down the first thing I see is Sean.  Sean is here!  He's here!

 

I don't remember going down the stairs.  I still feel weak and shaky.  Its a bit like being drugged or rather waking up from it.  Its disorientating and confusing.  I collapse against Sean and he holds me tight.  I know I'm crying and my knees go weak.  He lifts me up and carries me away.

 

I'm sobbing as we slide into the back of a limo.  I'm aware enough to know Priest goes to the front and several people who followed us out will ride in the suv behind us.  We have the limo to ourselves.  

 

I never really liked the limo.  I always thought it felt like too much.  But now I'm thankful for the soft carpeting on the floor.  I'm thankful as Sean lays me down, pressing his body over mine.  Its soothing, comforting in the most delicious of ways.  The weight of him pressing me down, holding me here.  It helps to sooth the horrors away.  

 

It helps to feel his hands on me.  His mouth, his kisses, his touches all help steady me.  Its like I can breath again.  Like he's pushing out the darkness as he pushes into me.  Its hurried and desperate and there will be bruises but it so very much exactly what I need.  I've missed him so much.

 

He doesn't question my actions.  He doesn't lecture or scold or complain.  He pulls me back together as he takes me apart.  His teeth bite into my neck, marking me, claiming me.  My nails scratch his back and his fingers bruise my thighs.  He mouths at my shoulder and I bite his.  Few words are spoken.  Only 'I love you and 'mine' are spoken.  It helps pull the broken pieces of me back together.  I needed this.  I needed him.  And he doesn't hold back.

 

When we finish and redress the limo has already stopped.  He helps button my shirt and wipe away my tears.  After a few moments he pulls me out the door.  Priest and Thaniel are standing by the house to give us privacy.  I'm grateful and somewhat embarrassed but it was something I needed so I will the blush away.

 

Inside is everyone else;  Hank and Wu, Camilla and Adalind and Elizabeth.  Elizabeth passes a sleeping Don to me.  I hiccup a sob that I can't control.  She takes him back gently.  I'm surrounded by hugs and concern and affection.  Each touch heals some of the hurt.  I can't really speak, words get stuck in my throat.  And I dont really take in what they say.  I think that worries them more.

 

Monroe and Morressey seem to both be trying to cover me with their scents. Deep rumbling comes from both when the clutch me close.  Rosalee and Camilla are gentle in their hugs, compassionate.  Hank clings for a few moments, something painful in how tight he holds.  Wu tries to get a laugh.  I don't remember what he said but I smile all the same.  Roddy is red eyed as he cuddles against me.  Holly woges and rubs under my chin, taking my scent.  

 

It helps.  They all help.  Even when I hiccup sobs.  Even when I'm crying so hard that I can't see.  Even when my knees give out and hands are everywhere helping me down.  We end up in a pile on the floor.  Everyone rumbling and touching and woged.  Even Priest rumbles protectively over us.

 

Priest.  I hear him explain.  I hear him telling them even as the words pass away.  They know.  Now they know.  They know that I'm as much a monster as my ancestors.  I'm stained red, dripping blood.  I'm the nightmare.  I'm the thing they all fear.  

I'm a Grimm.  

And now they know.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

 

I sit out on the second floor patio watching the sunrise.  The sky is just now glowing a paler blue. The night lighter in predawn. I missed my home. I can't remember the last time I just sat and watched the sunrise. I can't remember just sitting and enjoying a gentle night. 

The land that our manor is on is fairly clear. A few single flowering trees in the front yard for decoration offer no hiding. The fountain in the front yard, circled by the driveway, is off but the soft white lights still illuminate it. Our guards walk the perimeter. I can see Morressey along the far left edge of the property. The tall wrought iron fences let you see out along the curving road. I can even see two of the twelve other houses that rest nearby. 

The sky comes alive in shades of red. Bright and blinding for a moment. It seems sudden. All I can see is red. Red blood spraying my face. Red mush left of what was once a face. Red everywhere until all I can smell, all I can taste, is rusted copper pennies. I gag and look away. Don't think about it! Don't think about it! 

The second floor patio mirrors the first. Both are covered and have white railing and columns. The patio wraps around to both sides of the house. The first floor patio wraps completely around.  Our room as well as two others have access to this one.  The other two rooms have windows that look out.  I suppose if they wanted they could climb out here.

 

There is a seating area near each of the three rooms.  A white wicker couch with plenty of cushions.  Two wicker chairs to match.  A low table nearby each set.  Each table is painted a bright color to match the cushions.  This one is painted lilac.  

 

Not many know that lilac is Seans favorite color.  It appears again and again in every aspect of our home.  From his favorite shirt and tie to the nursery.  Even some of our dishware has the same color.  Others probably think it's my favorite but it's truly his.  And it's a light color that looks good on him.  Of course, I think everything looks good on him.  

 

I like his lilac shirts too.  That's why I'm wearing this one.  It hangs down to midthigh so it works as a sleep shirt.  Plus, he loves it when I wear it.  And it's covered in his scent.  I just want to wrap myself in his scent and hide away.  Can I hide away from the world?

 

Donovan sniffles in his sleep.  I guess not.  I sooth him, pulling the soft blanket tighter over him.  My sweet Donny.  My little angel.  My precious baby.

 

Sean steps out in just his soft sleep pants.  His concern clear, "Nicki, what are you doing out here?"

 

I try to smile but I don't think I'm successful, "I can't sleep."

 

He nods, moving to sit beside me on the couch.  I cuddle close while being careful of Don.  Sean asks softly, "Did you sleep at all?"

 

I shake my head.  "I can't sleep.  I can never sleep.  Each time I close my eyes I drown in red.  Each time I try to sleep I hear screams."

 

He pulls me tight against him, "It will take time but you're safe now, Nicki."

 

"No," I need him to understand.  "I killed over fifty people.  Over fifty, Sean."

 

"They would've killed us, killed Don," he defends.

 

But it's not the same.  "I planned to kill your father.  The King and his heir, your cousin, those I planned.  But I killed everyone in my path."

 

"You killed their guards," he tries to sooth.  "It was bound to happen."

 

"I murdered them!"  Don jumps in my arms.  I continue quieter, "I killed them because they were there.  I killed them as they screamed.  I killed them as they ran away.  Some of them ran, they tried to escape and I chased them.  I wouldn't stop. I would've just kept on killing. I would've killed Priest if he hadn't stopped me. I'm no different than them."

 

I'm crying again.  It hurts, my chest hurts.  Sean tries again to sooth me, "You were infected with the Barons poison.  You weren't in control.  It wasn't you."

 

"Wasn't it?"  I can't help but wonder, "Isn't that what a Grimm is?  We're nightmares.  What stops me from being like that?  What stops me from becoming a monster again?  What if I lose control?"

 

"You wont."

 

"But what if I do?"  Why isn't he as panicked as me?  "I couldn't tell friend from enemy.  I didn't recognize Priest.  I would've killed him and I would've kept killing until someone stopped me. I don't think anything could stop me. I would've killed innocents."

 

"It won't happen again," he tries to convince me.

 

"But what if it does!"  I can't keep quiet.  My voice breaks with a sob, "I can't be that monster again, Sean. I can't put you or Don at risk. What if I relapse and attack you? What if I attack our people? What if no one can stop me? I can't be that! I can't.  I cant."

 

He holds me as I break.  Hands pull at Donovan.  I look up, Elizabeth.  Elizabeth takes Don.  I cry and cry.  I shake and shatter.  I can't!  

 

I cant!

 

"Promise me," I plead with him.  "Promise me you won't let me be a monster.  Promise me you'll stop me.  Please, Sean!  Please!"

 

He tries to sooth and shush me.  I cry harder.  Pleading and begging.  I can't be that monster again!  I can't! I cant!


	6. Chapter  6

CHAPTER 6

 

Sean gave me six weeks medical leave.  He thinks I need to rest and recharge for a while.  He's also making me see a shrink.  One of the department shrinks is a genio innocuo, a turtle like wesen.  He's pleasant enough, very gentle natured.  And he even agreed to come to the manor for the first few sessions.  

 

Its difficult but it all pours out.  He says its very common for the more dangerous wesen to have the same fears.  Fears that we'll kill.  Fears that we'll lose control.  Fears that we'll become the monster others think we are.  He says its very common and he can help me work through it.

 

I don't know who started it but everyone seems to be on cheer up duty.  Monroe and Rosalee take me out on a picnic with Roddy, Holly, and Don.  Holly especially loves cooing over Donny.  Roddy talks nearly as much as Monroe, about his auditions and where he hopes he'll go next.  Monroe talks about this old world clock he worked on.  I didn't understand half of it but he was excited.

 

Wu took me to the movies, a silly black and white comedy.  His impressions were funnier than the show.  Afterward we met Hank at the bar.  It was nice.  We drank and shot pool, which I'm terrible at by the way.  They both got a laugh at that.  

 

Camilla, Elizabeth, and Adalind invited me out for a spa day.  I didn't like being away from the babies all day but it was nice.  We had a group massage by a group of jagerbars.  Then we relaxed in a steam room.  After that we got a facial to the sounds of soothing music, something rhythmic with metal bowls.  They washed our hair and styled it too.  There is something very soothing about someone washing your hair.  Then we got manicures and pedicures.  By the time we left I felt nearly boneless.

 

Morrissey, Aiden, and Thaniel took a different approach.  They invited me to train.  We have an outbuildings not far from the back patio, a bit to the left.  There are several trees around it and several windows to let in light.  The space is large and the floors are bamboo.  

 

They didn't hold back or flinch away.  They put all their strength in each strike.  Most of the fight had them woged.  I was hesitant at first.  I didn't want to hurt them.  I didn't want to cause them pain.  But after the second day of being tossed around I fought back.  I stopped pulling my punches and started stepping forward.  It must've helped because a lot of fear and tension left me.

 

My mother showed up.  She was almost taken out but she called out at the last moment and Aiden, who had found her, pulled back.  He doesn't like her, no one here does really.  But she is my mother so they let her in.  They do search her for weopens three different times which is amusing because I know they missed one.  Not their fault either.  Mom's very good at hiding weopens.

 

We meet in the sitting room.  Several guards are around the room plus Elizabeth and Camilla are here.  Adalind went to work this morning.  Don is the only baby in the room, the other two are still in the nursery.  

 

Mom stares for a while, first at me then at Don.  He smiles, blowing spit bubbles and babbling as babies do.  His fist is nearly always in his mouth and it leaves his sleeves soaked.  He won't take a binki though.  I'm not sure why.  I figure hes just a picky one.  He doesnt like bananas either.  What kid doesnt like bananas?  Mine, apparently.

 

Mom finally shakes herself aware, "He's beautiful, Nicki."

 

I smile at that.  Of course my baby is beautiful.  And he's clever and sweet.  I know mom will love him too.  I motion for her to join me, giving only one warning, "Lose the boot knife and the gun in your bra, then you can hold him."

 

Several guards shift at that.  They're not happy that they missed something.  But I know mom and I know what she'll have.  She laughs it off, removing the items and joining us on the couch.   At least she didn't put up a fight about it.

 

Don, as always, is pleased with the attention.  He waves a spit soaked fist and kicks his feet in excitement.  She coos at him, touching one foot before stroking his cheek.  He squeals again as she strokes his chin.  My sweet silly boy!

 

"He looks so much like you when you were a baby," she says, something painful in her voice.

 

I press kisses to his head, smelling him.  He's my blessing.  He and Sean are the best things that ever happened to me.  I'm glad that she gets to meet him.  I just know she'll love him too.

 

Her voice is proud, "I heard some news."

 

I look up at that, "What news?"

 

She smiles back proudly, "I heard about the destruction of one of the Royal houses.  It was you, wasn't it?"

 

Red...  Red and screaming.  Blood and screaming.  People running.  Bodies littering the floor.  The King.  His face beaten in.  The bones beaten in until there isn't even a face left.  His skull smashed in.

 

I can't breathe!  

 

I can't breathe!  I grab at Sean while Morrissey pulls mom away.  Elizabeth takes Don.  Sean is talking but I can't hear.  I can't breathe!

 

He pushes my head down.  Blood pounding in my ears.  So much blood.  Red everywhere.  Heads on the ground.  Throats torn out.  Dead eyes staring blindly.  So much red.

 

The room is spinning.  The others have woged.  I cant breathe!  I'm on the floor.  A paper bag presses over my mouth.  It doesn't help!  I can't breathe!

 

Pain!  Someone slaps me.  I can't breathe!  My vision is spotted, darkness eating away at my sight.  My ears are deaf.  I can't breathe!  

 

Hands try to sooth me.  I can't breathe!

 

Darkness pulls me down.  Down.  Down.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

 

I wake with a pounding head.  Someone has moved me back to my room and drawn the curtains closed.  What happened?  Oh, right.  Mom came over.  She was proud.  Proud that I slaughtered a Royal house.  Proud of me being a murderer.  A monster...

 

I leap up running.  My feet slip and I hit the doorway hard.  My stomach heaves.  I barely make it to the toilet to be sick.  My knees hit hard, I know that will bruise.  I heave, my stomach clenching violently as I sick up.  Again and again until my head pounds and my vision swims.  I can't catch my breath.  I choke and gag and heave.

 

A strong hand grips the back of my neck.  Another pulls my hair back.  Its Sean.  He hovers beside me.  His presence helps and soon enough the heaving stops and I can finally catch my breath.  

 

He holds me as I sob.  My body weak and shaking.  My head pounding.  My body aches.  Why?  Why is this happening?  I never should've gone.  I should've stayed home.  But I wanted to keep our people safe and I went behind Sean's back.  I caused this.  I became a monster... a Grimm.

 

Once I calm enough, Sean helps me up so I can brush my teeth.  I do so twice just to get rid of the taste.  Afterwards, he joins me in the shower.  And when my hands scrub too hard at my flesh he stops me.  

 

He soaps up the cloth and gently swipes my skin.  His hands steady and he stays calm. The cloth leaves a train of bubbles down my arms, then my legs.  After he pulls me into the spray to rinse off he washes my hair.  Strong hands gently massage my scalp.

 

I close my eyes and relax against the wall. How can he still touch me? Doesn't he see I'm covered in blood? How can he forgive me? Somehow, he doesn't even blame me.  All the fight leaving me as I turn around.  My cheek presses against the tile as Sean stands behind me.   His hands stroke down my back.  

 

It helps.  It helps to wash it all away.  It helps that he's willing to still touch me, to still hold me.  I can barely look at my own reflection but he doesn't even hesitate.  All I see is blood.  All I hear is screams.  I feel like I'm drowning, like I'm dripping red.  I feel like a monster, a nightmare.  But he doesnt even look at me any different. He still loves me.

 

We leave the shower and Sean dries me off with a plum colored towel.  Its soft and thick and large enough to cover me. Shades of purple are splashed all throughout the bathroom. Deep purple mixed in with silver and white.  I follow along as he pulls me into the bedroom.  His hands strong and gentle as he nudges me onto the bed.  He takes a moment to dry himself before he joins me.  

 

I press against him.  Warm skin still slick from the shower.  He holds me tightly.  I feel numb, and tired.  Very very tired.  He hums softly which causes me to doze a bit.  I feel warm and safe and not alone.  I'm not alone.  I'm safe and I'm home and I'm not alone.

 

Morning comes with a lot of mist.  A dense rolling fog sits thick and heavy over the land.  I sit on the patio watching the play of colors across the sky.  A green plaid blanket rests over my legs where I sit curled up on the wicker couch.  Lorane brought me a tea set with a small plate of fruit.  Its nice, fresh, and delicious.  A wonderful morning.

 

Today is meant to be my first day back to work.  I feel unsteady, like my insides are trembling.  Its strange.   I didn't feel this nervous when I first became a detective.  I didn't feel this scared when I came back after the geiers incident.  I've been nearly killed several times but it's never affected me like this.  What's wrong with me?

 

Sean joins me with a cup of tea for himself.  He's quiet, watching the sunrise with me.  Its calm and soothing even as it's frightening.  I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a precipice.  Like the slightest move will sent me plummeting down.  And yet I'm still and calm and relaxed even as I'm trembling and afraid.  

 

His voice is steady, "I'm giving you another two weeks.  I got Dr. Banks to sign on extending your time off."

 

Good.  I'm not sure I can work.  I'm not sure I can back Hank if he needs me.  Something in my gut eases.  I know it's only buying me some time.  I'll have to face this and overcome it.  But right now I just can't.  I can't seem to shrug this off like I have everything else.  It's not the first time I've killed.  Its not the first time I've been in danger either.  

 

I lost the baby but I wasn't far along.  And while it hurts it also has faded and seems a bit like it never happened.  Sean and the others haven't said anything about the baby lost so it's easy to forget it was ever there.  Perhaps there was just too much else to focus on.

 

Sean continues, "I've also arranged for Dr. Banks to come by for a session this morning at ten."

 

I nod, sipping my tea.  I expected as much.  I'm glad for it too.   I've gotten better at talking about it and Dr. Banks has a very gentle nature that helps you to open up.    I might bring up the baby.  I don't want to just forget.  Or maybe I should.  Should I just forget about the baby?  Should I mourn?  How is this normally handled? Sean remains a calm presence at my side.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

 

We all gather in the kitchen to eat dinner.  The kitchen itself is large with a breakfast bar, built in breakfast nook, and a table with eight cushioned chairs.  The chairs are white with blue and light purple flowers that match the table runner.  We usually eat here rather than the more formal dining room with its long table that holds twenty cushioned chairs.  Those are a yellow cream color with gold and plum accents.

 

Supper is a quiet affair considering the room is full.  Lorane dishes out lemon chicken, rice, and steamed vegetables.  Our newest maid pours the drinks, she is another eisbieber named Anna-Beth.  Bud recommended her as she is still attending university to become a nurse and needs a flexible schedule.  She mostly works afternoons with us which gives Lorane and Margaret more time off. So far she's been a wonderful addition.

 

Camilla manages to feed Finley as well as herself.  Its amusing and amazing to see how she manages both without missing a beat.  She has truly grown into her self and her confidence has finally built up well.  She has also been amazing as Sean's personal secretary.   Its not an easy task and Sean has considered hiring someone else to assist her but so far she assures him that she can manage on her own.

 

Elizabeth holds Donovan.  Her eyes glow with happiness as she listens to him babble away.  His little face so very serious as he tries to share some story with her.  I can't wait until he get old enough to talk and can actually tell us all of his wonderful stories. Sean coos over Diana.  She watches him calmly.  Oddly enough, she's the most reserved of the babies.  All three babies are very much loved.  

 

It's amusing when the babies are put together to play.  They babble and coo and seem to communicate with each other.  They act and look more like triplets which I suppose in a way they are.  At least Sean considers them so.  If triplets can be born of three different mothers then our little ones would certainly count.  Its also absolutely adorable when they're dressed similar.  

 

Camilla and Priscilla actually bought several outfits in different sizes that would match.  They were planning to dress their daughters like twins.  I can almost see it, how wonderful it would've been.  I know it hurts Camilla most to have lost Priscilla and her baby but she is healing well.  And Adalind is finally treating Camilla like a sister and not a servant.  

 

Adalind and Hank keep sending each other secretive smiles.  Its rather cute to watch.  They've steadily gotten more serious, their last date included Diana who adores Hank.  I'm hopeful that they work out well because I love Hank and I've gotten better with Adalind.  

 

It helps that she's done a lot of growing up since her mother's betrayal.  She's living her life how she wants without all the pressure from her strict mother.  And the woman she is becoming is a wonderful person.  A person that Hank is fast falling in love with.

 

Wu hurries over to a seat, having arrived late.  He throws a flirting smile to Aiden who is eating at the other table with the guards.  Apparently they have talked a bit but are still dancing around each other.  Its sweet, especially when Aiden flirts back and Wu blushes.  I really hope that they work out.  Both of them are incredibly loyal with great sense of humor and a strong desire to help others.

 

A comment from Camilla gets my attention.  "The photographer should be by early in the morning, by nine, I think."

 

"What photographer?" I ask.

 

The others have a moment of hot potato glances where they each seem to be trying to pass the responsibility of answering to someone else.  Its amusing for the first half minute.  I look at Sean who with a sigh does answer, "My status got out."

 

He may think that explains it but I'm still clueless, "What?"

 

Elizabeth offers an answer, "The Kershite reporters have become aware that my Sean is the bastard of a fallen king.  They're making a big deal about it since the Royals are dead.  They don't seem to understand or care that he can't inherit that kingdom."

 

"Yeah," Wu adds, "They've been calling him an American Prince and the lost heir."

 

Hank nods along, "They've been mentioning it on several news stations and they're starting to stir people up about it."

 

Okay, "So what are they expecting from Sean."

 

"Everything," Adalind answers, "they mostly want to make a celebrity out of him."

 

"It does make an interesting story," Wu offers.

 

Sean frowns at them, "They are coming tomorrow for an interview and to do a small piece for their station where I'll address why I am unable to inherit.  It won't be long for them to become distracted by something else."

 

Somehow I doubt that and consideeing the looks from thw others they agree.  "So they're just going to talk with you and take your picture?"

 

"And pictures of the house," Camilla answers.

 

Well, that explains why they spent last week repainting the house.  It does look much better with the creamy yellow against the white trim and columns as opposed to the steel grey it was before.  It looks more like a home and less like some upity mansion.  Of course they also redecorated the sitting room and den.  I thought at the time that it was either a way to distract me or themselves.  They did a wonderful job either way.

 

Still, "What rooms will they be photographing?"

 

"The living room, the kitchen, Sean's office, your master suite and bath, the nursery, and some of the grounds," Elizabeth answers.

 

Huh?  And no one looks even the least bit nervous.  "Is that a good idea?"

 

Sean answers, "It's best if we control how this is handled.  If we tried to keep them out it would only make them stick around longer or find something dangerous."

 

"No," I reply, "I get that part.  But the nursery is set up for three babies."

 

Everyone freezes at that.  Its as if It didn't occur to them that it would be an issue.  Sean let's out a curse before turning to the guards and maids and asking them to remove all the girls toys and clothes from the nursery and put them in their mothers rooms.  Well, we'll be busy tonight.  It will be strange to see the nursery only set for one.  At least it will only be for one day.  I don't know how the babies will do if they're kept separate.  They seem to enjoy sharing the nursery as much as we do.  


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

 

The repoter does come promptly at nine.  The photographer is a young male with a thin goatee of brown hair and a soft hat hiding a growing bald spot.  His clothes are clean and business casual but he seems uncomfortable with his tie.  The reporter is a young brunette with bright red lips to match her skirt and very tall heels that she manages well even on uneven terrain.

 

Aiden and Morrissey check them over before leading them around the yard.  The reporter stays near their van while the photographer moves around snapping pictures of the outside.  This lasts a few minutes before they're brought inside.  We've all gathered in the living room to greet them.  Or at least Sean, Elizabeth, Camilla, and I are present.  Adalind left earlier with the girls and Thaniel to head to the park.  Introductions are made and refreshments brought out by Lena, a new maid that started last week.

 

Camilla takes charge of the conversation.  She warns them that the interview will occur last in Sean's home office after they've taken what pictures they will.  She also passes them a bound press release, at least ten pages.  The reporter will have time to review the release to decide on what questions she will need to ask.  And afterwards she will be required to present them with a copy of the article before printing.

 

They are both Kershite and look rather unhappy with the restrictions but their boss is a lowen and she has already agreed to our terms.  The press release covers Sean's history, as well as the results of his father's passing.  Its been stressed several times to them that Sean is not in line to inherit and he has no desire to move to Austria to take the throne.  For some reason they seem to want him to take the throne but that may be just to have some juicy story to spin of an American raised Prince becoming king.  It all seems rude and nosey to me but Sean is right in that if we ignore this it will only get worse.

 

The photographer takes photos of Sean and I together on the couch as well as a few of the room itself.  We lead them down the hall to the formal dining room.  Its a rather odd game of follow the leader we have going but so far so good.  After that we lead them back out to the hall and upstairs.  This part I don't like as much.  Sean's hand on my back helps me stay calm.

 

The master suite is photographed while we stay back.  They also photograph the patio where they have Sean and I settle on the wicker couch.  Morrissey stays close to them in here.  From there we enter the nursery where Don is sleeping.  Anna-beth sits in a rocking chair watching him but excuses herself when we enter.  

 

The room itself has undergone some changes.  Where there was three cribs is now only one turned with the back against the wall.  The girls names have been pulled down and replaced with artwork, something pastel painted featuring a group of children's characters.  Two rocking chairs have been removed and the one left is closer to the crib.  

All the girls clothes and toys have been removed and the empty places in the closet have been filled in with blankets and soft stuffies.  A thick fluffy rug in cream sits in the center of the room with a few small toys on it.  And a daybed sits in front of the window with sheets and a quilt of bright colors to compliment the room. It's a beautiful room for a single child.  And it twists my stomach to see Don alone in here.  

I've become used to this room belonging to all three.  It feels empty, though I doubt that they would notice.  Sean and I stand by the crib for a photograph which pans the room.  They also request a picture of me holding Don.  Which fine, I get it, but I don't really like having my picture taken.  I do manage to get him up without waking him and return him to his crib after.  Anna-Beth returns as we head back out.

 

Next we head back downstairs to the kitchen for lunch.  Don wakes and Anna-Beth is quick to bring him down to me.  It does help me relax to hold him.  And at least this ridiculous mess is almost over.  Johanna, the mousehertz who followed us back from Austria is quick to clean away the dishes.  She has joined us as a cook along with Lena and another servant named Bernard, which Sean seems pleased with.  They're nice enough and their food is wonderful.  Johanna also seems much more relaxed now than when I first met her.

 

In fact, several new Wesen have joined us from the fall of the Kronenberg house.  We gained two new guards, three new maids, the two new cooks, as well as two men who I think are some kind of butler.  A few Sean knew from his youth and a few were his spies in his father's house.  With the fall of it they have joined with Sean's house.  They're also a bit more subservient than what we're used to but we're all still getting comfortable with each other. Sean says that they were all taught since childhood how to behave around royalty. 

 

I excuse myself from the group when they head over to Sean's office.  I'd rather not have to deal with discussing what happened.  Sean understands and promised to make excuses for me.  At least I know that Elizabeth and Camilla will be there to help him.  Not that he needs any help, of course.

 

I load Donny in his carrier attached to my front and we go for a walk outside.  The backyard, if you can call it a backyard, is beautiful.  There are several flower beds full of bright colors and a long winding path entwining through them.  Its a lovely little walk that Donny and the girls enjoy.  There are three stone benches as well as two concrete birdbaths and a small fountain feature.  I let Donny reach out to touch some of the flowers which he really seems to enjoy.

 

Further out is a white wooden gazebo with built in benches and a few lanterns.  Its very romantic at night.  Perhaps I'll convince Sean to have dinner with me out here tonight.  There is enough room in the center for a small table set.  It will be nice to have a relaxing evening.

 

To the left is the training house.  A single story structure where we all can go to spar.  To the right sits a few small outbuildings that are used for storage.  The land is mostly flat so we've had plenty of picnics out here.  We might do that again soon, its nice just to sit outside and enjoy time with friends.  

 

And at the rate were going we may need to build another house just to hold the guards and servants we keep adding.  It still feels a bit odd but I've been getting used to it.  I don't know about this royalty stuff.  It still seems medevil to me.  But it is wonderful having all the help and it does make things run smoother.  

 

I just hope we can continue to afford it all.  I'm not sure what we pay them or how their salaries work.  No doubt if I ask Sean or Camilla or even Adalind they could answer.  I should probably ask.  Its not right that I don't even know.  And I can see why that realtor had wanted to show us those huge behemoth mansions, even if I still don't like them.  

 

We'll build up our own sprawling manor here.  A manor that will still be a home.  And it's not like this is a real kingdom.  I mean, Sean is King but he's King of Wesen, not Kershite.  This will be no more than the home of someone wealthy and influential.  Nothing more.  No different than any other wealthy home, wealthy family.  

 

Then why does my stomach twist in knots?  Why does it feel like I'm pushing back the tide?  Why does it feel like the world is speeding past?

 

I try to shake off my worries.  It won't help anyone for me to stress over an uncertain future.  Or is the future certain?  Sean has plans for our Canton.  He has plans for what he wants to accomplish.  And he hopes that one day Wesen can come out of the shadows.  He hopes for equality and peace between all citizens.  

 

Is that a foolish desire?  Is it even possible?  Will the Kershite turn on us when they learn the truth?  Will the old laws stay in effect? Will our children be faced with this burden?  Or their children?

 

"You're troubled," Sean's voice surprises me.

 

I turn to face him, "I was trying to stay out of the way."

 

He shrugs and closes the distance, "They're finished, Camilla will escort them out.  Now whats really wrong?"

 

Of course he would pick up on that, "I'm afraid.  I feel like it's all slipping past me.  Like I'm changing too much.  Two years ago I never would've set out to murder people.  I never would've planted evidence to prove a murderer guilty or lied on record about events."

 

He strokes my back, "You do this to protect the innocent and ensure the guilty pay for their crimes.  Kershite law doesn't take Wesen into account."

 

"And if Wesen become known?  What then?"

 

"Then we will weather that storm when it comes," he promises confidently.  

 

How can he be so sure?  How can he know what we do is right?  How can he know that this all won't blow up in our face?


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

 

November ends with a cold front.  Where even yesterday was warm in the sixties, today wind chill brings the forty five down to thirty.  The flowers in the garden that were clinging to warmth are now curling in the cold.  The trees which were holding tight to green leaves are now dropping a rainbow of colors as quickly as they can.  Its been an unusually warm fall, something we've all been enjoying and it seems winter is punishing us for it.

 

The article came out well. Its presented in a three part series where each portion focuses on a different aspect of Sean's life. The photographs turned out beautiful and the piece really portrays Sean in very good light. 

 

They discuss the circumstance of his birth, which does throw a lot of shade on the former king Frederick. They mention about how Sean and his mother immigrated when he was young and briefly touches on his schooling. This first portion also includes a genealogy to show his royal heritage. 

 

The second article moves to discuss Sean's rise in the Portland PD with several quotes from other captains and the chief. Even the Mayer managed to get a quote included. They highlight some of his big cases including the geiers case. 

 

This shows his strong moral character and how much he has fought to keep the people safe. Its blatantly stated in such a way that it looks like he's already ruling benevolent here. And while he is King that's not something the Kershite are aware of.

 

Much of the third article as well as two more smaller articles focus on our relationship. There are quotes there as well, all positive and supportive. And a brief portion explains my apparent hero status from some of my cases. I'm not sure how but they've managed to turn it all into quite the romance tale.

 

The pictures of us are nice. Sean even had a few enlarged and framed for his office. The photographer must have come out while I took Donny for a walk because there are several candid shots of us in the garden and Donny touching the flowers. Those I think are Sean's favorites. They're mine too even if I'm not happy about them being published.

It's been good to stay home. Relaxing with Donny and enjoying family dinners each night. I've also gone over to the spice shop to help Rosalee. Its something I haven't done in a while and it helps me feel helpful. Even if I am just restocking shelves while Donny snoozes in his carrier. And we've gone to a concert by Roddy that was wonderful. That young man is simply amazing with a violin. 

And we've visited Priest. He walked with us down the church hallways and listened as I brag about Don standing on his own. Yes the girls are doing so as well which I'm proud of but I get to boast of Don. Priest loves to talk family. He loves that he's included. He loves that he's a part of a good family now. And I think he adores his little namesake. 

 

Hank and Wu are investigating a homicide linked to a gas station robbery.  They stopped by only briefly this morning to complain about their case, a victim in the ICU from two nights ago and the suspects found slaughtered outside their second robbery.  The only witness to the suspects murder was too afraid to talk.  Whoever or whatever killed them left behind the money.  They're both thinking wesen.

 

They were then led to a dog fighter, Ray Bolton.  There is a connection to the dead robbers and he did have several violent dogs that had to be picked up. Wu is certain that the guy is Wesen of some kind.  I agreed to come by at lunch to look at their dog fighter and see what kind of Wesen he may be.

 

I feel for them, I know how it is. Especially since they can't see when a Wesen woges so they can't use that to help process the case.  And after giving them coffee and some early lunch I join them at the station.  I still have another week off but after daily sessions I do feel better, more stable.

 

The dogs are clear, they didnt kill our victims. The dog fighter looks like something like a mix of a hundjager and a daemonfleur.  Ugley and violent and not afraid of Grimms. Sean recognizes him as a hollentier.  Stupid, neanderthalish, brutish and violent.

 

We get called into another one while our suspect is still in custody.  It looks like we have a vigilant wesen.  A woman was attacked but her attacker was taken out. She's shaken but safe and eventually she admits to what she saw.  El cucuy.  The witness tells us she was saved by el cucuy.  Something known to the Spanish people.  And yet there isn't even a hint anywhere in the books, Wu did a quick word search to save us time and it came up negative.

 

Wu finds footage from the bus our victim was riding.  We get lead back to Mrs. Garcia.  An elderly woman from the second robbery. She seems pleasant and willing to help which we're hopeful she can. Perhaps she saw something. It can't hurt to ask.  

 

We get stopped before we make it back to the precinct.  A call comes in, a Mr. Flores goes after our dog fighter. Hank recognizes Mr. Flores as a former marine suffering ptsd who has been harassing officers at crime scenes for not stopping criminals fast enough. We arrive on scene to Mr. Flores beaten bloody but a quick command get the dog fighter back inside. 

 

We carry Mr. Flores back to the car only to find Mrs. Garcia missing. Screams come from inside the house.  We rush inside only to see Mrs. Garcia killing him.  Seriously! This little old lady is our killer?

 

We drag her into interrogation without fuss. Shes still playing the harmless old lady angle. And who would believe that this little old grandma killed those men? She gives a good argument. They were a threat and she was merely protecting others.  Haven't I rationalized my own kills the same way?

 

That damn woman!  We know what she is.  We know what she's done.  We just can't prove it.  We have no choice but to let her go.  And we do, with a warning to stay out of our Canton.  


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

 

It's nice being back at work. With my badge on my hip and my gun holstered I feel more like myself.  Something relieving about being back on the streets, investigating again.  I feel stronger, more stable. Less shaky and more steady, more myself.

Sean left for a long weekend in LA with several guards and his assistant Sebastian, one of his former spies from Austria. As much as we were hoping the articles would be enough it seems to have only stirred the hornets nest. Sean has been harassed about further interviews and he finally agreed to a televised talk. Elizabeth joined him partly for the interviews and partly for the shopping promised.

 

At least Camilla is still home to keep things running smoothly so I can get back to work. I mentioned to Sean about having a guard house built and he actually like the idea. I meant it as a joke but I guess it would be better to have more rooms available. And if we build it on the right close to the house we can even bridge the two buildings together. That will make things a lot easier. Except Sean wants me to be in charge with Camilla assisting. Like I know the first thing about designing a house. 

I brush it all from my mind as we get to work. We get called into a church to investigate what looks like the end result of an exorcism gone wrong.  A nine year old boy named Daniel Keary is missing and a priest murdered. His parents are nearly hysterical.  Are demons even real?  

 

At least we find the boy quickly, hiding beneath the table.  I hear him sniffling, only barely. A lasting result of my fight with the jinnamuru xunte.  I'm just grateful we found him.  He's obviously terrified but he goes quickly to his parents. And he doesn't seem to remember what happened. 

 

We send him on to the hospital to get checked.  Per the doctors, his immune system has been severely stressed, his white count high which normally signifies infection.  The parents say that their son changed overnight about a year ago.  They say the boy doesn't even know when it's happening but no one can tell what's happened to him.  The father admits that sometimes he can see a visible change.

 

Neither parent is Wesen so how can the boy be?  We interview the seminary student.  He clames the boy is possed by a demon.  As were leaving we hear screams. A nurse runs out terrified.  The boys face is changed.  Something terrifying and different. But as we stay back he doesn't attack, instead he seems to fall back asleep. What the hell!

 

We head to the spice shop for help, its closer than the precinct. Monroe and Rosalee tell us about Grausens.  Something that only affects kershite children.  Something that can't be cured, only killed.  Something monstrous that will only grow worse.  We're told about the wesen council.  About how they're the ones responsible for killing the infected children.

 

My books tell similar stories.  One of the stories mentions that it could be a disease which would fit with the boys stressed immune system and high white cell count. Perhaps viral or bacterial or even some kind of parasite.  When we go back to the hospital to question the parents we learn a possibility.  They went around Egypt and he got the flu.  This could explain it.

 

Monroe calls to warn me.  Unfortunately Rosalee had called the council. Its literally against Wesen law to not report it and had Rosalee kept quiet it would've cost her life and probably Monroe's too.  A man appeared at their house looking for the boy. A man from the Wesen council.  Thank goodness the boy was already taken home.  We hurry to his house to protect him.

 

The parents almost refuse to let us in. Not that I blame them. They've had to many false hopes to believe in ours. Even if it's obvious that they're desperate for an explaination and a cure.  A crash from the boys room draws us in. The man from the council had slipped in through the window to kill the boy. Thank goodness he failed.  Hank and I chase after the boy.  Its dangerous out, the temperature has dropped to the low tens.  

 

I run into the councilman. A pflichtreue, a white tiger like wesen.  Its thankfully a quick fight, it helps that Hank is backing me. I follow the boy the best I can while Hank watches the councilman.  The father comes out with a lantern to help.  We find the boy in a fort, soaking wet and freezing.  Hes pale and shivering and something moves beneath his skin.  

 

The father argues but before we can agree something leaks out of him. Something yellow and wiggling that quickly turns to an ash like substance.  The parasite could only live in the warm body temperature.  Once he froze the parasites died.  We rushed him back to the hospital.

 

We take the samples with us and are proven correct. Its a type of protozoa that he picked up from swimming in the Jordan river. Further examination shows the boy is clean of parasites and back to normal. I pass the boys file to the councilman along with a very stern piss off and don't come back.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

 

Hank follows me into the cafe. Its busy and crowded, dozens of voices talking over each other. We follow the hostess back. Farley Kolt, a steinandlier we thought was dead, came into the station this morning. He walks with a permanent limp and leans heavily on a carved wooden cane. He asked nervously if I would join him for lunch. Naturally, Hank felt the need to follow. 

Mr. Kolt does look worse for ware. His nose is misshapen and a long angry red scar curves down the right side of his face. His right hand is missing the two last fingers as well. When I questioned what happened he admitted that Akira Komura had attacked him and left him for dead. 

I'm glad he survived. For all that it must of been a truly horrible ordeal he is alive. Though according to Hank, Mr. Kolt has no family or even a permanent residence. By all appearances he seems to have spent his life chasing those coins. In destroying the creature that was them, or at least tied to them, it seems to have released all those who were previously bound by their call. It means he's probably more clear headed now than he's been in years. 

He smiles as we sit down. He still appears nervous but there's a hopeful edge that I don't quite understand. Hes a good man, but a heavy burden weighs him down. His voice is scratchy, another permanent result of his attack, "Thank you again for meeting with me." 

I offer back a smile, "It's no trouble at all, Mr. Kolt, thank you for inviting us." 

He waits until the waitress takes our orders and brings back our drinks before addressing the reason for his invite. His manner nervous and shy and a bit depressed. "I'm not sure, Nicki, how much you remember of our last meeting." 

"Not much I'm sorry to say," I answer. "Our meeting was brief and there was a lot of difficulties at the time." 

Hank shifts in discomfort. Of course Hank would feel guilty, even if I have already forgiven him. Kolt nods, "Well, I had intended to speak with you more at the time but I do know you had a lot of trouble." 

Of course it was a bad time, "What was it you wish to speak about?" 

He shifts a bit to get more comfortable as our waitress returns with the food. We all offer our thanks and she leaves for another table. His smiles fall short of his eyes which seem to hold tight to pain. His shoulders bow beneath the burden he carries. He feels lost and alone and unsure. The coins were the driving force behind his actions before and now he's like a ship tossed in a storm. Hes uncertain and without direction and grasping for some steady presence. Why me? 

He sips his drink before giving an answer, "Please forgive me, I just don't know how to begin. But I suppose I should start in the beginning. Twenty years ago I was engaged to a woman named Marie Kessler, your aunt." 

Seriously? But I do vaiguly remember someone. I can't remember a face. I only remember mom's severe disapproval and dad's sympathy. Still, this would be an odd thing to lie about. All I can say I'm response is, "I'm sorry, Mr. Kolt. I can't remember..." 

But he seems to know. A flinch moves behind his eyes and a shrug that does little to settle him shifts through. Still, he presses forward. He nods along before I can finish. "Your mother didn't approve and out of respect for her, your aunt left me to raise you." 

Talk about a slap in the face. He seems to have realized how that sounded because hes quick to add, "I dont blame you, or her. I understand. You know, I cant have children amd while I would've loved to help raise you I know that's something your mother never would've approved." 

That's the truth. As much as I love my mom because shes my mom I have to admit that she's dangerous and prejudice. He takes a minute, nervously nibbling on his fries before he tries again. "I know you're grown and I know you don't need me. And I know I'm a stranger. And I'm not really much help." 

I wonder if he has ptsd. Probably. It would explain the shiftiness, the edginess to his feelings. He holds his pain close but he's not able to hide it. I squeeze his hand which startles him slightly, "I don't know anyone that's too grown to still need family. But we'll have to start slow because we are strangers." 

He squeezes my hand back, grateful and relieved. Unfortunately Hank gets a call and we have to leave. I worry but at least he seems to be pulling himself back together. I promise to meet him again later for lunch and next time I'll even bring Donovan. His eyes shine with tears as he tells me he looks forward to it. 

I linger long enough to offer a hug before we leave. Hes a good man. Its not his fault my family is crazy. And I don't think he has anyone else. No, I know he doesn't have anyone else. And I don't mind. After all, you build up your family, nothing wrong with adding to it. And he is a good man. He just needs someone to give him a reason to keep fighting. I can try. 

We get called in on a homicide, a kid with an arm torn off.  Large footprints of a suspect in the vics blood. My first thought is actually siegbarste. They're strong enough to rip off a limb. But this kids arm looks bitten off.   The ME says he died of a broken neck, not blood loss.  According to her something shook the hell out of the boy.

 

We haven't even left the building yet when another call comes in. A sewer crew looses a man.  He was investigating a clog in the sewer pipes when something grabbed him.  The crew tried to pull him up but his lower legs were missing.  The deputy ME says animal attack.  Wu argues alligator.  

 

The road crew leader, Charlie, leads us down. He's nervous and panicked but brave and steady.  We find the crime scene at the blockage. Blood sprayed on the walls and a leg stuck under some of the logs.  We also found several bags and purses that match several robberies.  Most of the stuff stolen looks like junk.  We bring it all in anyways.

 

Gellumcaedus, a gator wesen.  Wu was right. There's actually a lot in the books that we've found.  Wu loves having everything on computer as it helps make research easier. A few of the stories mention a vambrace, a hard arm guard with a hidden blade.  I find a vambrase in amongst my family weopens to use.

 

We find his lair.  Its not far from where our sewer worker was killed.  I have Hank, Wu, and Mills as backup.  A good thing because with the echoes I can't pin this guy down. And Mills can't help because the overwhelming stench bothers his nose. We find a door, lead there by a lot of ticking, that leads into a room.  Up the stairs is a lot of junk, thousand of dollars of random stuff including dozens of clocks.

 

The gellumcadus is here. He jumps out at us and if not for the vambrace I would've lost an arm. A few hits are traded before we get the guy down.  We drag him in and book him but he won't talk. Instead he sits there calm and confident and unafraid.  Something about the crimes isn't adding up.  Hank heads home.

 

There's more than one! Some of the crimes occurred at overlapping time. He must've had someone working with him. An accomplice. Someone else is down there. 

I try to call Hank but he's not answering.  Another voice picks up, demanding Gregorek be exchanged for Hank.  I have no choice but to follow instructions.  If I don't go alone they'll kill Hank. I just hope Sean doesn't get to pissed when he finds out.  At least Gregorek doesn't fight me when I drag him in the sewer still cuffed.  

 

A third one attacks.  There were three, not two. I knock him away as the first brother lunges.  Using the vambrace I kill the other two and Hank helps me recapture Gregorek. He actually seems shocked that we won. Though I do wish that I hadn't had to kill them. I honestly wasn't sure if I could. But I guess I am getting better.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

 

Picture day.  

 

I'm not sure who had this brilliant idea but yeah, picture day.  Thankfully Adalind found a wonderful steinandlier woman to come to our home. She's a young mother herself who works part time as a photographer out of her home.  Her name is Kensley and she does a wonderful job with the little ones.

 

The first set of photos are in Sean's office.  He's wearing his favorite lilac shirt with a deep green tie and a smoky grey suit.  Somehow Adalind came out with a white dress for me that has lavender spots.  She and Camilla both have grey dresses with lavender sashes.  Diana and Finley both wear lilac dresses with green sashes and bows.  Donovan wears a little grey sweater vest over a lilac shirt and lavender tie.  

 

We take family photos of first Sean, Donovan, and me.  Those go well. Then we take one of all three babies together.  Those go great, she gets several of the babies laughing and smiling. Even Diana smiles and that silly bean usually isnt the most expressive. 

 

We get in one each of the babies with Sean, a father and baby picture. Then theres the one of Sean holding all three as they laugh. Even Sean is laughing there. Next we do another set of each mom and baby.  They all look awesome!

 

We take a break and let the babies down for their nap.  At this time Kensley drags Sean and I out to the gazebo and we dance without music.  Its easy to dance in Sean's arms and soon enough we're laughing. There's even a picture of a kiss.  I can't wait to see those. I probably have the goofiest smile but it's such a wonderful day.  

 

We head back inside and enjoy a light lunch.  We get to change out of our outfits.  Thank goodness for jeans and t-shirts.  Sean trades his suit for a cream sweater and grey slacks which complement his olive completion wonderfully.  That man could look handsome no matter what he wears.

 

When the babies wake up, about an hour later, she's already set up for the next set.  We change the babies into new outfits.  This time the girls are wearing a rainbow tutu with mint and pink 'pearls' necklaces while Donovan wears a lavender tie and grey pants with mint suspenders.  They all look equally adorable.  About the only way to tell Diana and Finley apart is that Diana is blond while Finley is brunette like Don.

 

This time the photo setup is a white backdrop. The back has hard candy and lollipops stuck to it, arranged all over. There is also loads of candy poured over the floor.  There's color everywhere and the babies are very distracted by it all.

 

The first set of photos are just each child smiling or laughing while crawling around amongst all the candy.  Them we put all three together.  We can't get all three to look up at once but there are still plenty of adorable pictures.  Especially the one where Don holds out a large lollipop to Diana while laughing and tumbling against Finley.

 

Next we set up for the cake smash.  Some of the candy is swept up but not all.  We take pictures of each child with their cake, a thin little tower covered in whipped cream and sparkles.  We start with Diana as she's the least likely to make a mess.  Then Finley has a turn, then Donovan.  

 

After letting them make a mess individually we clean them up a bit and put three new cakes down and set them all together.  Finely, for some reason, crawls over Don's cake to grab at Diana's.  Diana shoves her over into the cake while Don laughs.  Adalind and I are cackling as Camilla tries to lure Finley back to her untouched cake. It doesn't work.  Thankfully none of the babies get upset.  In fact, they spent most of the time laughing and smiling.

 

We each grab our babies to give Kinsley time to clean up the area.  Margaret helps her sweep all the candy up.  Then she puts down a backdrop of a dark red wood paneling woth a few empty white frames places at odds and a shaggy white rug.  A child sized claw foot tub is brought out and filled with bubble bath.  Again, we take individual pictures and a group shot.  And again the group shot is hilarious because Diana is wide eyed in shock and Donovan is falling over laughing at all the bubbles Camilla scooped onto Finleys head.

 

There's even a moment, brief as it is, where all three woge while laughing.  At least I'm not the only one who thinks that they're adorable when they woge.  Adalind has been filming the whole silly mess and promises to share the video with us.  I can't wait to show Sean!  All three woged!  While laughing!  And I'm gonna show Hank!

 

After they're cleaned up and dried off we let them loose to crawl on the rug.  They're given some lavender and mint colored silicone animal shaped toys to play with.  We leave them naked for a short while before putting clothes on them.  This time both girls are wearing white dresses with mint dots while Don wears a mint shirt with white pants and white and lavender tie.  

 

Those pictures include a lot of spit bubbles and chewed on toys.  And after letting them play for a half hour we get adorable pictures of them sleeping.  Then Kinsley get an idea to remove the toys and put back the candy.  Thank goodness the candy was put in a clean bag and the babies are asleep.  She sprinkles it all around them and snaps pictures from several different angles.

 

Overall we all agree that picture day was a success. We all hurry to shower while the babies are still out. Somehow, all three of us became covered in a rainbow of sticky smears. Sean admits to having checked in on the babies photoshoot several times. He also laughs and boasts proudly as all three babies woge into full beists. Or in Donovans case a full ZauberGrimm. He's just as excited as we are to see the final product. Adalind and Camilla are already arguing over how many large portraits we'll get.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

 

Council meetings now include more people.  What was once a dozen has now grown to about thirty.  Each member influential in their groups.  It just goes to show how strong Sean's support is now that all Wesen are represented here.  Its a busy meeting that lasts most of the afternoon.

Topics include the expansion of the canton. We've extended our borders by several hundred yards in all directions and many new businesses are being set up.  As far as the Kershite are aware it's just a growing population but since it's mainly Wesen we're more invested.

 

Sean and Elizabeth both are opening several real estate opportunities.  This alone will create a good income but Sean is also partnering in some restaurants.  Elizabeth, Camilla, and Adalind are investing in some boutiques as well as building up two town squares in the least populated area which will be growing over the next few years.  All of these will boost economy, provide many new jobs, and bring in a good income for us as well as our people.

 

Next topic to discuss is the council's pet projects.  The Wesen mentorship program has been going amazingly well. Our station has been keeping a close eye and there have been several interviews with both kids and volunteers to ensure it all remains safe. Similarly, Adalind's second chance project has been going well. She's helped many homeless Wesen find jobs, residence, and counselors. Its also having the effect of cleaning the city up and lowering crime statistics. Something we're all happy about.

 

We also discuss engagements and weddings. Monroe and Rosalee announce their engagement to many congratulations. Several others are mentioned as well as several births. Sebastian has the list of both and will present cards of congradulations for Sean to sign. I dont envy him that, no one like paperwork. But Sean says that this is part of being king, showing an invested interest in our people. 

 

Funerals are also mentioned with a list given to Sebastian to arrange for flowers to be sent out. Besides that we discuss any issues the various clans are facing. There's a bit of a territory dispute going on between some lausenschlange and blutebaden. Sean issues a command for both groups to send a representative before the council to resolve the issue.

 

We also have the babies parties coming up. Donovan's party got pushed back an extra week since Sean was away doing interviews. That will be tomorrow at the house. Then next weekend we have Finley's party out at a resort lodge. The weekend after will be the winter solstice celebration, even though the solstice itself is on wednesday. Its going to be a busy month.

 

Donovan's birthday party is outrageous.  A one year old won't remember this.  But Sean insisted and Elizabeth took over.  I should feel more grateful but this seems a bit much. At least everyone is having fun.

 

There are bouncy castles and ball pits in the living room.  All the furniture removed to open the space.   There's a fingerpaint area with large canvases and little pie dishes full of whipped cream that hides little costume jewelry.  There's a woman making balloon animals and a man painting faces.  There an ungodly amount of food and snacks and gift bags.  There's even a photographer running around, Kensley.

 

As for a guest list, well, its outrageous too.  Besides coworkers, family, and friends we also have the council, politicians, and other influential people.  The adults seem to congregate in either Sean's office or the formal dining room while the kids have the run of the living room and hall.  Its noisy and crowded but everyone seems to be having a good time.

 

The presents are loaded on the kitchen table where Johanna takes charge of organizing them.  There's way more here than any one child needs.  To be honest, I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all.  I decide to leave it there and spend my time chasing Don.

 

Which is hilarious because Sean crawled into the bouncy castle with him.  He's also lost under a dozen kids who think it's fun to jump on the only adult foolish enough to enter.  He's laughing and they're squealing and shouting war cries.  

 

"Hey, love, you need help?" I ask.

 

He pushes one small one back to laugh out, "Yes, save me!"

 

Donovan squeals when I crawl in.  Its not as easy as it looks.  Not to mention that half the kids jump on me now.  Sean sits up with a mock roar and drops one of the bigger three year olds to bounce.  Donny jumps on my head with a similar roar.

 

It's wild and messy and crazy and fun.  Three hours of party sends most kids home fast asleep with cupcake smears on their faces.  Gift bags are given out by Morressey and Lorane as guests leave.  Overall a great day.  And we get to do it again next weekend for Finley's first birthday.  Goodness.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

 

Finley' s party is more mellow than Donny's was. There's still a couple dozen little kids and a table weighed down with presents. Theres still far too much food and goodie bags for the guests. Theres still a woman making baloon animals and a man painting faces and a bouncy house.

 

But the lodge where we have the party is up in the woods. The inside is beautifully decorated for Christmas time with blues and silver and white. Some even wonder out to the back patio that stretches out over the lake. Of course, its cold and hot chocolate is the preferred drink. Peppermint rum added to some glasses helps too.

 

It's beautiful and fun and after two hours Camilla send guests off sleepy and full. We stay after to help with cleanup before we all head home. Supper that night is also made into a big production. Finley gets to wear a soft knitted white crown, similar to the one Donovan got to wear at his birthday supper only his is sparkling golden yellow. Diana also has a soft white crown for when her birthday dinner comes around. 

 

With the holidays and birthdays all around the same time it helps to give them a little something to feel special on their day. The crowns were gifts from our eisbieber elder on the council. Donny's has periodic peaks like a kings crown while Finley and Diana both have flat tops with white flower lacing between the two bands. They're all three beautifully made. 

 

After such a long day we all call it an early night. The bed is warm and the knitted blanket is soft and cuddly.  Sean smiles indulgently as he crawls into bed beside me.  He's warm and strong and so very wonderful.  I snuggle against him with a sigh.

 

He rolls us so that he's on top, his arms on either side of my head.  The rum making him playful. Not that he ever needs a reason. His eyes warm with love.  I know that stupid smirk, that's his I'm sexy and I know it smirk.  And yes, he is, but still.

 

I have to tease him, "I have a question.  Did you really go dumb when you first saw me?"

 

He laughs and rolls off me.  His eyes shining in amusement, "I don't think so but as Hank likes to remind me I must have."

 

He groans as I laugh.  His voice still far too amused, "Yes, yes, and I blame my mother."

 

That stops my laughing.  "Your mother?  What did she do?"

 

He frowns, suddenly nervous, "Don't you know? I thought she told you about her spell."

 

I shake my head.  It only serves to make him tense.  His voice cautious, "My mother cast a spell to draw true love to me.  Not that anyone believes in true love but the spell draws a person or persons most suited and compatible with you.  The stronger the power and ingredients used the stronger the spell.  The stronger spell is more directed, its more detailed and it has a stronger pull."

 

He worried I'll be mad.  He's worried I'll think he was keeping secrets from me.  I laugh and sing very out of tune, "I put a spell on you... And now you're mine..."

 

He burst out in laughter, all fear and tension gone.  He rolls back on top of me, settling between my thighs.  I grin up at him, "Just so you know, it ain't no hocus pocus that made me fall in love with you."

 

He raises an eyebrow in question so I add, "Wesen powers don't work on Grimms."

 

"You weren't a Grimm at the time," he counters, pressing kisses to my jaw.

 

I grin back, "I think I've always been a little Grimm.  I've always been able to read people, to see them."

 

His hands trail up my arms to grip my wrists, pinning them to the bed beside my head.  His tone teasing, "Then how do you explain our instant attraction?  Love at first sight?  Fate?"

 

"Well," I draw out the word, wrapping my legs around his waist.  Hes warm and solid and I love the weight of him. I move quick to flip us so that he's on his back as I straddle his waist, "That's easy, I fell in love with you because of who you are."

 

He hums, rolling his arms to pull our joint hands to his chest.  His tone coy, "You knew who I was after just one look?"

 

"When I first came to the interview I called around,"  I explain.  "Everyone I spoke with had nothing but praise for you and your officers.  Even cops at other precincts have only good things to say.  They all praise you as a leader and an officer."

 

His hands stroke my arms, his tone thoughtful, "You love me because you heard good things?"

 

I huff a laugh at that, "No.  I went into that first day knowing that you were intelligent and that you had the respect of not just your subordinates but your colleagues and superiors as well.  That made me like you as a captain before I even met you. The first time I looked into your eyes it was like a punch in chest. It was a bit like the first breath of air after being underwater."

He grins, "Love at first sight! Oh, I'm swooning!" 

I laugh, smacking his arm lightly, "Dont be a brat. It still wasnt any silly spell. I told you I've always been able to see people as they really are. Its just wasn't physical changes." 

 

His hands move to stroke my thighs.  I continue, I need him to understand, "In that first meeting I looked at you and I saw a strong person, a strong leader, and a very sexy man."

 

He grins, his chest puffing up in pride.  His tone teasing, "Yes, I am quite the specimen, am I not?"

I laugh, stealing a kiss in agreement, "You, Sean Renard, are an amazing person. Don't let anyone ever tell you different." 

He grins, sitting up to chase a kiss and rolling us. "You, Nicolette Renard, are a wonderful flirty drunk. I'm definitely going to use that in the future." 

I roll us, nipping at his jaw and neck. His fingers scratch up my back. "I love your kisses, your voice, your hands. I love your bravery, your heart, your loyalty. I love your courage, your humor, the sound of your laugh." 

He laughs, "You love me even when I'm a bastard?" 

 

"Yea," I agree, "but it was the first year that you showed your character, every time you worked a holiday so one of your officers could spend theirs with family."

 

"And you fed us all as a reward," he teases.

 

I nod, "You showed me that you are willing to stand up against all opposition.  That you will not bow or bend to pressure.  That you have a very clear idea of right and wrong and you're not afraid to fight for it."

 

He looks confused so I add, "When you fought for Morressey."

 

He makes a little ahh sound.  I continue, "How many times did the chief drag you to his office before he started harassing you in yours?  How many times did you chase him off before he started bringing in other captains?  How long did it take before he dragged the mayor into it too?  And I know he did."

 

Sean shrugs, I doubt he even knows.  The chief hounded him about Morrissey more than he ever has about budgets or crime.  Probably because Sean fought him so hard on it.

 

Sean sighs, "So you saw me do good and fell in love?"

 

I shake my head, rolling us again so that I'm straddling his waist, "You thieve the cheesecake at every potluck, its why I started bringing two.  You can maneuver people like a master but it's always to benefit someone else in need.  You give and rarely ask.  You bring back the good sandwiches from the budget meetings unless captain Umbric is there, then you let him take them because his station is always last.  You listen to music that honestly puts me to sleep but every time you listen you look lighter and you smile more."

 

He grins, his hands stroke my stomach under my shirt.  I laugh, "And your a terrible grump without your fancy foamy coffee.  You're sarcastic and dry humor can sometimes rub people the wrong way.  You eat oysters."

 

That startled a laugh out of him, either the face i made or the tone at the end. He knows how I hate oysters.  They're just so gross and bloby.  I really don't know how he can eat them.

 

His laughter tapers off, "So you love me because you got to know me? Warts and all?"

 

I grin back, "Yep, and like I said, even before I knew about Wesen and Royals, I thought you would make an Amazing king."

 

He grins, "Really?"

 

"I read a book in high school," I don't know why I want him to know this but I do.  "In the book a young king was concerned that he wasn't strong enough or wise enough to lead his people.  A wise man who had helped his father before him told him that there are three types of men.  And each type of man will draw a circle around himself to include those he deems important."

 

He smiles, his hands holding mine.  I continue, "The first type of man only cares for what is his; his life, his woman, his children.  The second draws a circle around a much larger group.  It includes his neighbors and friends and those that help him in turn.  The third kind of man draws a much larger circle.  One which encompasses a great many people.  People he may not know, people he may never meet.  But people he would be willing to fight for, to kill for, and to die to protect.  The young king in the story was such a man and you are too."

 

His eyes shine and he has to clear his throat before he can speak, "Well that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard.  You've won my heart, fair maiden, I am at your command."

 

I laugh and slap his chest and somehow we dissolve into a tickle contest.  He wins when he pins my wrists and the kiss is certainly well worth defeat.  Kisses full of 'I love you's turn into so much more.  I do love Sean, with all of my heart and soul.  And now he know that without a doubt.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

 

Christmas time always bring out the worst in people.  Tempers are frayed and crime increases.  We get called out to a body under a bridge.  Christmas bags and prints links our vic to a series of auto break ins.  Our scene has broken gifts, a lump of coal, and a broken bloody twig.  Not the weirdest scene we've gone to.

 

Wu as the smallest gets sent in to check our body.  White male, teens, brown hair, cuts on his face.  Only before Wu can touch him he jerks and screams.  Screams and fights.  Hank shouts for paramedics.

 

We meet our victim at the hospital.  His name is Derek and he often hangs with another boy named Quinn.  So at least we know who's bloody jacket we found.  We try to talk to the boy but he's too panicked.  He spots a man in a Santa suit at the nurses station and he falls into hysterics.  The nurses rush in and chase us out.

 

Santa?  Really?  That's who attacked the boys?  Hank comments that they robbed the wrong store santa.  We get an address for Quinn and head over.  Hopefully he'll be home and able to help shine some light on what happened.

 

Bud, a friendly eisbieber, answers the door.  He is a friend of the family and came over to stay with the father while they called police.  Normally a person must be missing forty-eight hours before you can file a report but since he's linked to our crime scene we promise to check.

 

Hank gets a call, we got another one.  Another thief attacked, presents dropped, and a lump of coal.  This time we have a witness.  A witness that saw a man dressed in a Santa suit with a goat's head mask lift the boy by his ankle and carry him off in a red cloth bag.  What the Hell? 

 

According to Wu, the lumps of coal left at the scene are from some remote area in the arctic.   The north pole.  Seriously?  This is ridiculous.  Its a pity that Sean is stuck at city hall all week or I would bug him.  Mills doesn't have a clue and there's nothing in my records.  I even had Wu search for 'presents,' 'Santa', and 'Christmas'.  Nothing came up.

 

Calling Monroe gives us an answer.  Krampus.  The evil twin of Santa clause who punishes bad children.  Apparently it appears before Christmas, gathers bad children, hangs them from the tallest tree and eats them before midnight on the twenty-first.  Midnight tonight to be exact.  And not just the tallest tree but the tallest tree in the tallest spot.

 

Once again I'm grateful that Sean brought other officers in on the whole Wesen secret.  We outfit in riot gear and head out.  Sean is even able to help us out.  

 

We manage to find the kids in weird woven cages hanging in a tree.  They're cold and bruised but mostly unharmed.  Mills and Wu start leading them back. 

 

Krampus shows up with another kid.  He's a tough son of a bitch and he hits like a hammer.  Sean jumps in and between us and Hank we knock krampus out cold.  Unfortunately, even unconscious he doesn't change back.  Now what?  We can't take him in like that.

 

Sean draws his gun, arguing that we can't arrest krampus as is and we need to stop him.  The krampus kills every year and it's pure luck that we saved these kids.  Only midnight hits and the krampus woges back to a man.  A man that has no idea what Wesen are or even where he is.

 

To the best of our understanding, the krampus is a hereditary trait that triggers the first of December.  They transform into the krampus and travel to different areas attacking and devouring 'naughty' children.  Its not anything they control or even remember.  Its also not something we can charge him with.

 

None of us want to kill him.  Its not intentional on his part.  But he can't be allowed to keep killing.  Sean doesn't like it anymore than we do.  No one wants to make the call.  But we have to.  Sean decides to hand him over to the wesen council and let them make the call.

Hank jokes that we don't get paid enough to deal with this crap. It's true. Its also the price we pay for having so many Wesen in one area. Not that krampus is even Wesen. We're not really sure what he is to be honest. Not that it matters anyway. 

It does make dinner conversation more interesting. All Wesen are taught the story of krampus even if most don't believe. So I imagine it's quite the shock that we have proof. Thaniel reminds us to next time call on him, blutebad nose could've saved us some trouble. I tease back that he's more than welcome to be our search dog in future cases if we need. 

I drag Donovan back into our room. Even if he is too big for his bassinet. I just need him close tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if Camilla and Adalind do the same. It kinda makes you wonder what else is out there. What else is real. Scary thoughts. 


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER  17

 

Christmas is a small family affair. We spend the day home eating and talking and laughing. There are a few presents but it's all very subdued and relaxed. A bit of light food, finger foods, are nibbled on all day. We sing carols and crawl around the floor with the kids. Sean makes sure to spend a bit of time just cuddling each baby. 

Morrissey somehow gets roped into letting the babies crawl on his back. Diana especially seems proud of crawling over the lowen. Even Priest woges for the kids which makes Diana growl back but Donovan and Finley both fall over laughing. Sean is really pleased by that. Especially since Priest has always hated what he is. Sean is proud that Priest is finally relaxing enough, happy enough, that he's willing to woge on his own. 

Monroe and Rosalee come by with a wooden train set for the kids. They have more fun chewing on the trains than playing to our amusement. Wu comes over with some games for us to play after the babies go to sleep. Wine and charades, what could be more fun. And when Wu disappears for a little while with Aiden, no one says a word about it. Nor does anyone mention when Adalind and Hank sneak away. 

It's nice and calm and exactly what we all need after the last few weeks. Just some time with family, relaxing and cuddling on the couch while sharing good memories and stories. And then we head to bed full of wine and warm from the fire. 

 

Winter solstice celebration is on again.  It's passed off as a Christmas celebration for those who don't know.  Again the turn out is huge.  There's Wesen and Kershite mixing in the crowds.  Each Wesen breed or large clan has their own tent as well as several public tents where everyone can intermingle.  And there's a large bonfire for every three tents.

 

There are a few drink stations.  Some selling homemade beer or mead while others offer hot chocolate or fountain drinks.  The eisbieber lodge and the selengudle herd have a few tables of sweets they're passing out for free.  There's several food tents offering anything from roast meats to vegetarian dishes, sweets and fried food.  There's even a station selling some ethnic cuisine which adds a wonderful spicy aroma to the air.

 

We have our own tent, a thick blue cloth.  Wooden floors are covered with heavy rugs in a multitude of colors.  There's a couple couches as well as three mattress sets for seating.  We have a few tables and a crockpot full of hot chocolate and peppermint rum.  Lots of blankets everywhere too.  The babies even have a playpen with a few toys. 

 

We brought the strollers but it's much easier to carry the babies around in their carriers so they can look around.  Sean walks with us and enjoys sneaking sweets to the kids.  We get to see a demonfleuer dancing with lit batons, twirling and tossing them before she woges and breaths out a blast of fire.  There's also some type of monkey like Wesen juggling.  Apparently they have really good coordination so juggling comes easy to them.  

 

There's a melifer man painting faces for the kids near a tent full of honey cakes and cookies.  Theres a group of young jagerbars doing some kind of bare chested wrestling over on the far side.  However it's going the crowds are certainly enjoying it.   The whilihara children are racing between the tents by the tamer Wesen to the cheers of their parents.

 

There's a bunch of rowdy blutebaden, most bikers, who seem to be having some kind of drinking and/or barbeque contest involving a lot of shouts and snapping jaws and shoving.  It doesn't seem to be violent though, more like rough playing of some kind, good natured in a way.  A glance to Sean has him calling a few more guards to station nearby.  There is also a group of various bird-type Wesen dancing about to some sort of techno/tribal music.

 

Hank wonders up as it's getting dark.  He saw his third wife, the one from the drunken marriage, Lakendra.  Apparently she's a weten ogen, a lynx like wesen.  According to Hank, her being Wesen and trying to keep it a secret is why they didn't work out.  He says she's relieved that he now knows. Not that it changes much but at least now they can be friends. 

 

When we finally round back to the center stage to take our seats there is already a crowd.  Again we settle in as the various Wesen approach.  Many offer a smile to me and Donovan but most just focus on their King.  Many are quick with a greeting and an offering.  A few request a further meeting before the council to discuss issues.  

 

Sebastian is acting as scribe and Morrissey is herald this time.  Sean says he still needs to elect a court herald and scribe.  There are several to choose from he just hasn't had the time to decide.  

 

And once the line winds down we settle on a blanket amidst a sea of similar groups.  Our breaths fogging here without the bonfires and tents to block the cold.  Then the fireworks start.  Bright bursts of light.  A kaleidoscope of colors and sizes.  And the babies who are barely awake seem to jolt and laugh at each new explosion.  All in all, I think it turned out great.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

 

Breakfast isn't going so well.  Finley refuses each bite of oatmeal and Donovan keeps trying to crawl out of his highchair.  Don only consents to eat once I let him crawl into my lap.  The downside is I now have oatmeal in my hair and down my shirt.  The only one behaving well is Diana.  She's sitting pretty as you please eating each bite Sean offers her.  

 

Of course that's probably why they're all acting this way.  It's a fairly recent development.  Apparently they realized that they each have a mommy but have to share a daddy.  And none of them like it.  So while they will each behave if Sean is the one paying attention to them they aren't as accommodating when he's not.  And going by his smug grin, he knows.  The jerk.  I still love him though.

 

I try to answer my phone but Donovan takes this as permission to stand up and sing as loud as he can.  Well, I think he's singing.  Whatever he's trying to do is loud, that's for sure.   Lorane hurries over to pull him away, passing me a washcloth as she does.  I grin a thanks.

 

"Renard."

 

Hank answers, "Man, Nicki, I'm still not used to you answering to Renard.  But this is serious.  I'm five minutes away.  We got a bad one."

 

I stop trying to clean up, "What happened?"

 

His voice is strained, "We got a dead highway patrolman.  He was in a high speed pursuit last night and the asshole killed him for it."

 

Damn!  "I'll be ready."

 

Sean asks what happened.  I answer quick as I holster my gun and grab my jacket.  I steal a kiss from Sean and Donny as I run out.  Sean not far behind me. Hank pulls up just as I get outside.  It must be really bad.

 

It is.  It's bad.  Officer Aguilar was tough, tall and strong.  And someone beat the shit out of him.  There's bruising on his knuckles that prove he fought back but he still lost.  And the asshole scalped him.  Who does that?  What kind of sicko scalps someone?  

 

The video shows the car chase and attack.  Just one guy, well over six feet with long brown hair.  The guy tossed officer Aguilar around like he was nothing.  And he let out some powerful roars that were definitely not human.   He's wesen, but what kind?

 

Our suspect is linked to two other scalpings in California.  Damn.  Sean warns me that we have an appointment that we can't miss so Hank takes over looking up leads.  It must be really important if Sean's pulling us away from this case.  So I don't argue when we head out early.

 

Sean drives us out.  Apparently, someone came before the council to demand the Kings Judgement.  It's an old law but a very serious one.  The accuser, the CO of the accused, claims that a group of four former military men, three of them were contracted, under his command gang raped a young female special officer.  He brought forth what evidence he had as well as the woman involved.  Of the four men, one is wesen, a manticor.  Two of the humans are already dead, the third wrote out a full confession.  It's the fourth that's the problem.  

 

He's demanding the Challengers Rights.  It's a way for an accused to fight for his honor. Mostly because they're guilty.  It also means that the King can't issue judgement.  Instead the accuser has to name a Defender to fight for the victim.  And the accuser who himself is too sick to fight has named me.

 

Sean apologizes for the dozenth time in as many minutes.  He swears that he wouldn't drag me out here if he could help it.  I know.  But I am a Grimm.  I should be able to handle it.  I think I can.  I hope I can.  Sean apologizes again.

 

We reach the turn off but it's still a good couple miles walk to the clearing.  It's not too far from where we hold the festivals but it well off the beaten path.  Sean stops me again while we're still out of hearing distance to once again apologize for putting me in this position.  

 

But I understand.  This is the price of ruling.  It's not all fireworks and festivals.  Sometimes it's bloodshed and screams.  And I understand that once we enter the circle only one may leave.  I understand.  I do.  And I don't blame Sean.  Maybe I should, but I don't.

 

The clearing itself is small and overgrown.  They've cleared away some of the waist tall grass from the center to set up.  The fighters circle is lined by torches and a small stage holds several members of the council.  Including Priest.  And he doesn't look any happier than Sean.

 

The accused is a tall white male, bald, who woges into a manticor and steps into the circle.  I guess he's eager to get this over with.  The accuser is an older male, white, sickly pale.  He looks regretful when his eyes meet mine.  A woman stands next to him, long curly black hair, dark skin.

 

Sean catches my arm before I make it past the torches.  His forehead presses to mine.  His voice regretful, "I'm sorry, Nicki.  I would never endanger you or the baby like this.  But I must uphold the law."

 

Baby?  What baby?  Not Donny, he's at home.  Sean touches my stomach.  Am I pregnant?  I am!  I'm pregnant!  Damn!

 

It's okay.  It's not Sean's fault.  I understand.  I pull him into a kiss.  Hopefully he understands.  He grows stronger, colder, more a king.  But his eyes are still regretful.

 

I step into the ring, the manticor watching my every move.  He's already admitted guilt by demanding this fight, he know killing me is the only way he'll survive.  He's smug, arrogant.  He thinks their concern is because I'm weak.  But I'm pregnant, not dying.  And I've faced worse than him.

 

Several weopens lay on the ground.  It's a bit like a gladiators ring in here.  I grab up a double bladed axe, spinning it to test the weight.  I wonder if it's mirrored after the lowen games or vice versa.

 

His tail strikes.

 

I side step and swing.

 

We both miss.  He shifts around a moment.  He almost seems ready to charge but he changes his mind.  We circle each other.

 

His tail strikes.

 

I swing down.

 

I cut his stinger off.  Blood.  Red.  Screams.  For a moment I'm back in that castle.  Cold.  Pain.  Fire and ice.  Fire and ice.

 

I won't let it take me again!

 

I step forward and swing.  I miss.  

 

He slashes at me.  I dodge.

 

Step, swing.  Step, slash.  Step, swing.  Step, slash.  It's a bit like a dance.

 

We speed up, he's getting desperet.  

 

Step, slash, lunge, slash.  Step, block, swing, block.  Repeat.  Repeat.

 

I push away the cold.  I'm here.  Sean's here.  I'm not poisoned.  But still, I fight.

 

He starts aiming at my belly.  Low blows, aiming for my baby.  He's aiming for my baby!

 

Step, swing, punch, swing, punch, swing.

 

He's losing ground and I'm closing in.  His woge recedes.  Pale face bloody and scared.  But it's too late.  I swing.

 

The clearing is oddly quiet. 


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

 

Morning brings another body.  Another large, strong male victim killed and scalped.  This one military.  And again his knuckles are bloody showing he put up one hell of a fight.  What the Hell is doing this?  A siegbarste?

 

We spend all morning making phone calls to find this asshole.  Hank gets word back from Mexico.  They had two killings, similar vic type and scalped.  Then Wu comes over with more news.  The suspects car was found.  Everyone suits up.

 

The car is parked on a busy street.  Several hotels in the area as well as shops and restaurants.  Lots of places for our guy to be hiding.  Officer Dickson meets us but he hasn't seen any hint of our suspect.  Damn.

 

There's a crash.  A man thrown out on the street.  Skinny, white, male, brunette with a bruised cheek and bloody nose.  We head over, it might be linked to our guy.  He claims some psycho beat him and stole his truck.  Room three thirteen.

 

The room smells horrible, like rotten eggs.  The bathtub is a mess of blood and hair.  This has to be our guy.  What in the hell is he doing?  This is crazy.

 

We get the scene processed and head back to precinct.  Now is the time for far too many phone calls. Wu takes my laptop to search the Grimm archives. It makes me grateful that I digitized everything when this all first started. It also speeds up our searches. I can't imagine how much time I would waste if not for my computer.

 

Hank gets word back on the car.  It was stolen in Mexico not far from the first murder and the owner may even be another victim.  And I have to give my own bad news.  Forensic came back on the hair in the tub and in the car.  We have matches to our vics as well as twenty seven others. What is this guy doing?

 

Wu comes back with a search of our Grimm archives.  Wildesher, a beserker like Wesen known for being fierce undefeated warriors who revel in war.  They are also known to scalp their victims, warriors, to make a cloak of hair which suposibly gives them extra power. The stronger warrior their opponents are the stronger the cloak makes them.  So that's what he's doing?  Making a cloak out of scalps to make himself more powerful?  Why?

 

Sean calls me into his office, his voice grave.  Hank and Wu follow.  We update him on what we have and our suspects possible breed.  Sean looks pained but resigned.  He must've already suspected what our guy is.  He also promises to call a meeting of those in the know, which includes most officers now, to update everyone on what to expect.

 

Wu and Hank are dismissed but Sean asks me to stay behind.  He looks nervous, regretful, guilty.  His tone hesitate, "Nicki, I'm pulling you off this case."

 

I start to protest but he waves a hand to stop me, only just meeting my eyes.  "While I have no doubt you can handle yourself in most situations, there are other things to consider.  The baby for one."

 

"I can handle myself!" I argue, "I fought just fine last night!"

 

He looks pained at that, "Nicki, you didn't see yourself last night.  You changed.  For nearly a full minute you changed.  You looked just like the victims of the Baron."

 

What?  I did?  How?  Sean stands up and comes around the desk.  His hands grip at my arms, willing me to understand, "Nicki, your heart stopped, you went pale.  You looked like a corpse, Nicki."

 

No wonder he looks so upset.  And why Priest left so quickly.  It also explains why Sean was so reserved last night.  He seemed to both cling to me and hold me at arms length.  At least now I know why.  I worried that it was because I had killed but that didn't make sense. 

 

But I have to ask, "What about our suspect? Why's he doing this?"

 

Sean pulls me closer, "My best guess is that he's hunting to build up his cloak. It's just bad luck that he's here."

 

Something in that doesn't ring true. I tuck my head against his chest, "What are you going to do?"

 

He sighs in relief, "I'll take care of it. I'm not helpless, you know. I can handle one wildesher."

 

"With backup!" I insist, "Cops or our guards but you're not going alone."

 

He's quick to agree, "I'll take six with me. That should be more than enough. And I'll take all Wesen to be safe."

 

Okay, I can agree to that. I'll let Sean handle this. Seven strong Wesen should be enough to take down one wildesher. I'll still worry but I have to trust that Sean can handle this. He better, because I'm going to be pissed if he gets hurt. I tell him as much too. 

 

He smiles and kisses me and orders me home. Hank agrees when I tell him. He also promises to call if they need me and to stay close to Sean. Mills and Hank will both go, as well as a female steinandlier named Houston. The other Wesen will most likely come from our guard.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

 

It's nice getting to go home early. Even if I do worry like crazy. Morrissey left with four other guards. They seemed confident so it does make me feel better. I guess I'll keep worrying until I see Sean again. At least I get to cuddle and play with Donny.

 

Several hours later my phone rings. I answer my phone, it's Sean.  His tone has a teasing lit, "Hello, my most amazing, fierce, beautiful Queen.  How are you this evening?"

 

I laugh, "I'm doing great my handsome, brave, and intelligent King.  What about you?"

 

So Sean's around Wesen and is being threatened.  He wouldn't have addressed me that way unless someone was listening.  And he must be in serious trouble. But he had backup when he went after the wildesher. Something must've gone wrong.

 

His voice holds a smile, "I was thinking.  My wonderful lovely wife, you've been so very stressed lately.  Working far too hard.  Perhaps you would like to join me for nice little private dinner?  Just the two of us.  No worries, no responsibilities, just us and the stars."

 

So the situation is dangerous and we'll be outnumbered.  He should've been able to handle it with the backup he had. Something must've been different. There is more than one.  Damn! We miscalculated. He was prepared for one but not two. And those that went with him are dead. They're dead! Breathe, just breathe.

 

"That does sound tempting," I offer.  I need more information.  "What are we going to have for supper?"

 

"I got wine and fruit... cheese and fresh rolls... Not to mention your favorite oysters,"  he keeps his tone coy.

 

Damn.  He's injured and won't be able to help me fight back. Not to mention, I'm probably being watched.  That makes this more difficult.  So I need to move carefully to not spook them.  I can do that.  

 

I hum to buy time, "That does sound awfully tempting.  Did you remember my coffee?"

 

He laughs, almost genuine sounding, "Yes I got your sugary frofro drink with extra whipped cream."

 

Double damn!  So he needs me to call Priest in for help.  That's not good.  Sean hates asking Priest to kill for him.  He must think theres no other choice.  He must be badly hurt. The kind of hurt that will need a hospital.  Damn!  

 

I hum again, "Well, you've won me over, my sweet knight.  Where am I meeting you?"

 

He tells me, his voice relieved.  I hang up after one honest 'I love you'.  I shoot a quick text to Priest as I head out to the car.  Thankfully he responds quickly.  I also shoot a text to Elizabeth to tighten security at the manor.  Hopefully we can get this sorted soon.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 

The drive out is easy but not quiet.  I make more calls.  Adalind and Camilla are both on their way, perhaps ten minutes behind me.  I called the council to get them up in arms.  It'll take about a half hour for them to get out there to help.  

 

The only car at the turnoff is Sean's.  Theres no blood, nothing out of place.  It's a different hiking trail to what we normally use so I'm not as familiar with the surroundings.  But theres a clearly marked path so I follow.  Thankfully it cool enough that I won't look suspicious wearing my long coat.

 

I start up the trail doing my best to appear relaxed.  There's a light not to far, a campfire by the looks of it.  I keep my head down but my eyes moving.  I can feel someone watching me but I can't pinpoint them.  I really should've been looking up.

 

The trail winds around a large clearing, the grass short and sparse.  The fire is large in the center, casting it all into shadows.  There are no wildesher that I can see.  Not that it matters.  Because there are instead bodies tossed around like rags.  

 

My knees tremble as I move forward.  I recognize officer Houston.  She's new to the force.  Her quick whit and even temper make her a favorite among the uniforms.  Or it did.  She's laying on her back.  Her shoulder looks odd, dislocated maybe.  And her front is covered in blood.  It must be because her throat was torn out.

 

My palms are sweaty so I rub them on my jacket.  I move past the next one.  It's a lausenschlange guard from our house, Carson.  There's blood on him that's not his.  His head is twisted around and his chest is caved in, his sternum pressed too far down.  But there's no open wounds to account for the blood.

 

The next isn't one I recognize.  It takes a moment to realize why.  The tattoo is his palm, Verat.  So... The Verat are working with the wildesher.  All this to kill us.  Okay.  

 

My chest feels tight.  The painful cold is pickling at my skin.  I try to hold it back, whatever it is.  But it hurts.  I don't like this.  I don't like this at all.

 

Morressey is dead.  His head looks up at me.  Just his head.  Just a head on the ground.  No body attached.  No body nearby.  Just the head.  Just Morrissey's head.  Morrissey is dead.  He's dead and all that's here is a head.  Just a head.  Morrissey's head.

 

I'm shaking all over.  My knees are weak and I have to stop just so I don't fall down.  I gasp for breath, as if I've been running.  But I'm barely moving.  My cheeks are wet.  Am I crying?  My god, what happened here?

 

"Sean!"  I choke on a sob, "Sean!"

 

There is no answer.  I have to find him!  I stumble forward screaming his name again and again.  There's two more Verat, their bodies mangled by claws.  There's another that's dead from bullet wounds.  And the next is a reaper.  What in the Hell?!

 

Yes, it's a reaper.  I look around again.  Theres one more cop, a uniform I don't recognize.  There's three more guards that I know work for Sean.  Two more bodies I don't recognize.  But the last one I do.  Hank!

 

I race over, skidding on the wet grass to fall beside him.  I still don't see Sean but I found Hank.  There's blood everywhere.  A long slash down his chest, splitting his bulletproof vest, that must have been caused by a Reapers blade.  There's blood coming out of his mouth too.

 

I touch him, shake him.  He doesn't respond.  He's limp and cold.  I'm screaming now.  I don't know what I'm screaming.  I only know I'm screaming.  Hank is dead!  Hank is dead!  

 

Hank is dead!

 

Where is Sean?  I scream for Sean.  I scream and scream but no one answers.  I have to find him.  They want me here for a reason.  They want me to find him.  I can do that.  

 

I gasp and choke as I struggle to calm down.  The cold burns along my bones.  I welcome it.  I let it flow over me.  I give into the cold, damn the consequences!

 

It's a numbness.  A strange sort of floating.  It's being present and not, all at once.  It's a shiver that crawls up my spine and washes everything away.  

 

There's no more tears.  There's no more gasping breaths.  No breaths at all, really.  There's no more trembling.  My muscles are tight, ready, but calmly so.  There's strength but no tension.  There's a readiness to it that appears devoid of movement.

 

Even my vision changes.  The world twists into shades of gray.  Everything is sharp, clear, focused.  Sounds are magnified.  There are no birde, no insects.  The only sound is the crackling of the fire.  The snapping of the wood and the whoosh of the flames.

 

So I focus harder.  I push myself to hear something.  The cold is stronger but now it doesn't hurt.  It's no longer pain.  I don't feel anything.

 

But now I hear it.  I hear the whirl of a camera in the clearing, high in a tree to watch this all.  I hear the sounds of movement, taunting.  Words I catch are "burn" and "Your Grimm too".  I can feel the movement of several bodies.  Not far from here.  Only a hundred feet or so.  

 

Backup isn't here.  No one is here but me.  And they're watching.  I stand slowly.  But I know they aren't near enough to stop me.  They also don't know that I know where they are.  That's good.  It means I can get to them before they get to me.  

 

I pick up a Reapers scythe.  Yes, this will do nicely.  I can't wait for help.  I have to go now.  I don't have a choice.  I ignore the warm wet running down my thighs.  It doesn't matter anymore.  Nothing matters anymore.  I have to kill them.  I have to kill them all!


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

 

I move swiftly through the trees.  It all just blurs past me.  I can't wait.  I can't stumble.  If I think about it I can't do it.  So I don't think.  I just move.  I move fast and quietly.  Shadows drape over me with each step.  I have to hurry.

 

There's a small clearing next to a small pond.  There are a dozen people here, mostly men.  Several are injured.  Three are wildesher.  I can take them.  I have to.

 

They have Sean tied to a stake, surrounded by logs and bundles of hay.  One is pouring a red can of liquid over him and the wood.  The sting of the smell means it can only be lighter fluid.  They're going to burn him alive.

 

He is alive, at least.  His left eye is nearly swollen shut.  There's blood all over him.  Not to mention, his arm looks twisted and broken badly.  There's a wheeze to his breath that suggests at least one broken rib, probably more.  He also moves his head slowly, probably a concussion.

 

They haven't heard me yet.  They don't know I'm here.  I shrug off my jacket, it will only hinder me.  I take up a gun and a scythe.  I'm going to kill them all!

 

I move quickly.  The first to go down is a reaper.  He doesn't even have time to lift up his scythe.  

 

My gun barks three times.  Two Verat fall, a reaper spins with a bullet in his shoulder.

 

A wildesher rams me into a tree.  I swing the scythe at the back of his neck as I shoot over his shoulder.  I ignore the claws in my side and the teeth in my shoulder.  His head falls, so does a reaper not quick enough to dodge the bullet.

 

Sean looks around sluggishly.  Yep, he has a concussion.  I move quick.  I try to get to him.  They block my path.  A wildesher slams me away.  

 

My back hits a tree.  I stand and and rush forward.  Two wildesher meet me.  They're both strong and fast.

 

I hear the scratch.  The gritty scent of a lit match is followed by the whoosh of flames leaping along wood.  I spare a glance to see the fire spread quickly.  No doubt the accelerant is to thank.

 

I fire off another shot and hit the Verat that lit the fire.  My gun is knocked from my hands.  A fist slams into the side of my head.

 

I don't drop.  I pull another gun and fire.  I swing the scythe.  I empty the clip into one wildesher while I take the head of the other. 

 

The last is pissed.  He keeps coming but I keep moving.  He swings, I dodge.  He swings, I dodge.

 

Sean screams.  The flames are up his thighs and licking at his chest.  There's a lot of thick black smoke billowing up around him.  I take a punch to the head for the distraction.

 

I dodge and swing and fire and swing.  My gun clicks empty.  I toss it aside.  I pull up a long blade, as long as my forearm.  I alternate swings of the scythe and stabs of the blade.  It takes three tries to land a hit.  The scythe takes his head.

 

Sean's still screaming but there are still four left, three Reapers and a Verat.  I move to meet the Reapers.  Scythes clash loudly.

 

A roar sounds.  A blur of white fur and long teeth moves past.  Priest!  He takes out a reaper before he aims for the Verat near Sean.  His screams are more choked now. 

 

Priest kills the Verat and lifts his body, swinging it at the wood pile to disperse the logs.  It's amusing in a way.  A very morbid and dissociated way.

 

I finish the last two Reapers quickly and join him.  Between the two of us we get the burning logs away from him and pull him down.

 

More footsteps thunder towards us.  Adalind and Camilla clear the treeline.  Both of their faces pained but stern.  They're quick to help lay Sean down.  

 

Another group comes through woged.  Six Wesen, two holding black bags.  The two with bags, the zieklevolk doctor and a balam nurse, react first.  They both hurry to help.  

 

I step back to give them room.  As much as I'm worried I know I'll only be in the way.  And I'm kinda stuck in that frozen numb state where nothing registers.  I feel separate from events.  Like I'm outside looking in.  Like it's not real.

 

Priest moves in front of me, blood down his front.  He tries to tell me to come back.  He tells me to think of the baby.  He tells me Sean needs me.  He tells me to let it go and come back.

 

I tell him I can't.  I tell him the baby is already gone.  I tell him I don't know how to come back.

 

He steps closer.  His hands grip my arms.  His voice a deep rumble as he talks.  He tells me to relax.  He tells me to think of Donovan.  To think of my family.  He tells me to think of all things good and calm until it works.

 

Emotions drop me to my knees.  I'm me again.  I'm no longer the robotic killer.  I feel everything.  It's too much!  It's all too much!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

 

I wake to steady beeping, a white ceiling and a numb floating feeling.  I try to look around.  Wu is here, in a chair beside me.  His eyes are red from crying, his face pale.  I try to ask but I only manage a moan.  

 

He shushed me, "Don't talk.  You have a concussion, a broken leg, several broken ribs, broken fingers, and you had severe internal bleeding.  The docs said it was like you got hit by a truck."

 

I blink up at him.  He smiles sadly, "You will be fine.  Our dear Captain Renard will also be fine.  He suffered third degree burns to his legs and chest.  They have him in the burn unit.  Elizabeth says she knows some tranks to help him out so there is that."

 

Good!  Sean's alive.  But...

 

Wu must know, he must see that I remember.  Because he says, "Yeah, Hank and officers Houston and Roberts are dead as well as Morrissey and a few civilians."

 

I want to cry.  I think I'm crying.  It all hurts too much.  What do I do?  Hank is dead!  Hank is dead!  And so is Morrissey!

 

Wu grips my hand, fat tears roll down his cheeks.  The beeping is loud, and annoying.  I start to choke.  It's like I can't breath to cry.  I shake and cry and choke.

 

Nurses are there.  Something cold rushes up my arm.  It's not the cold of when I change.  This is the cold of medication.  I let it drown me down.

 

*

 

I get out a week later.  I'm still bruised and moving is painful.  Sean is still in the burn unit even though he tried to fight to come.  There's news vans and cop cars everywhere.  The first funeral is for Hank on Friday afternoon.  Houston's is Saturday morning.  Morrissey's is Saturday evening.  Roberts is Sunday afternoon.  

 

It's sad and depressing.  Everyone is pale and crying.  The reporters are hovering while trying not to antagonize anyone.  Hanks casket is open, the others are all closed.  Hanks mother sits beside me, his sister on her other side.  She grips both our hands.  I don't know how she has the strength.  I don't have the strength for anything.  All I do is cry.

 

*

 

Sean gets out two weeks later.  He insists on visiting all the graves to pay his respects.  Aiden drives us to each of the five cemeteries.  Sean cries stoically.  It's like he doesn't even realize he's crying.  

 

He tells me how it happened.  He tells me how they heard about the ranger and went out to investigate.  He mentions how there were two wildesher waiting which they expected.  But it was an ambush.

 

Tears roll down his cheeks as he tells me about how they fell.  He tells me how well they fought.  That they never stood a chance.  He says they were still in that clearing when they forced him to call me.  Before they beat him and dragged him further into the woods.  He tells me how they planned to burn him as soon as I arrive so that I can hear him die screaming knowing there was nothing I could do.  He tells me it was all revenge for destroying their seat of power in Austria.

 

I tell him about the baby.  It's the second one I lost.  Only this one did worse damage.  The doctor doesn't think I will have another.  Something about scaring.  It was hard to pay attention.  Only the doctor was sure that I wouldn't have anymore.

 

We cry, I shake and sob.  He's so understanding.  I can't stop crying.

 

*

 

I quit my job.  I can't go a day without a breakdown.  Sean tried to convince me to just take time and go through therapy.  But I can't.  It's difficult.  Every day is difficult.  I don't know how I'll manage.

 

Everyone is very supportive.  Camilla and Adalind have both been trying to help where they could.  I know Adalind is struggling.  She really cared for Hank and finding him like that has thrown her for a loop.  

 

*

 

Sean has me seeing a therapist to help with the nightmares.  I barely sleep.  I keep waking screaming.  I smell blood or burning flesh.  I can't even hold Donovan.

 

Farley Kolt moves in to take over as the head of security.  His previous experience shines through well.  He also spends a little time each day just sitting and talking with me.  It helps some.

 

Priest comes by nearly every day.  He spends time with Donovan and me.  Often he will insist on walks in the back garden.  It helps a little.  And he carries Don so I don't have too.

 

Donovan doesn't understand.  He see me and doesn't understand why I'm not holding him.  He asks for Morrissey once and I totally break down.  He calls Morrissey pop-pop.  Donny doesn't have a grandfather so Morrissey took over that role.  And he's been a great pop-pop.  How do I explain to my sweet boy that people he loves are gone?

 

Sean has scars even after the tranks his mother brewed for him.  The skin on his lower legs and part of his hip is twisted and rippled.  He's self-concious about it.  I want to help him but I barely talk without a lot of prompting.  He's seeing a therapist too.  I don't think it's going that well.

 

*

 

I climb up the railing.  I don't even know why anymore.  It's nearly three in the morning.  There is no moon and barely any stars to brighten the sky.  It's a cold night but I don't bother to go back for a robe.  Instead I pull myself up to stand on the railing.

 

The wind is strong tonight.  If I close my eyes I can almost pretend that I'm flying.  It helps.  Somehow, it helps.  Leaning out with only the wind holding me up.  It chases away the ghosts.  I feel, for just a moment, like everything is faded away.

 

Sean calls my name.  I turn back to see him standing in the doorway to our room.  He's pulled a robe over his pajama set.  He never used to.  He would complain that he runs hot so he would only sleep in pants, if anything.  Usually he slept nude.  But since he was burnt he keeps himself covered.  He bundles himself in clothing and shies away from touch.

 

He asks why I'm out here.  I give the only answer I can, "I don't know.  I don't know anything anymore.  I don't know how to be a cop.  I don't know how to be a mother or a wife.  I don't know how to be a Grimm.  I don't know anything."

 

He edges closer, "Why don't you come back inside.  We'll work it out.  It will be okay."

 

I look out over the yard.  The wind blows strong enough to push me back.  My plum cotton nightgown twists around my legs.  The fall probably won't even kill me.  It will just hurt a lot.  I don't want to hurt anymore.  But I don't know what to do.  It's like I feel too much, all the time.  How do I explain what I don't understand?

 

He's next to the railing now, "Nicki, come inside.  Well be okay.  I'll help you.  I love you."

 

"I love you too," I offer back.  "But this is all on me.  I can't sleep.  I can barely eat.  All this is my fault and I don't know what to do."

 

"It's not your fault," he counters gently.

 

I shake my head, "They came because if what I did in Austria.  They came because of what I became to destroy them.  Hank is dead.  Morressey is dead.  Innocents are dead and it's my fault."

 

He tries to argue but I don't listen.  The wind returns, strong enough to push my braid over my shoulder to lay heavy along my spine.  I lean forward, lean against the wind.  My arms spread out, as if I could leap off and fly.

 

Sean grabs my wrist, "Nicki, come inside.  I love you.  Donny loves you.  We need you."

 

I look down at the black driveway beneath us.  I feel distant.  A bit like there's so much inside me that I stepped out of my own skin.  "It won't kill me."

 

His grip tightens, "No, it won't.  But let's not try."

 

I let him tug me down.  He holds me close as he pulls me back inside.  This is probably the first time he's held me since it happened.  I missed his smell.  He always smells so good.  

 

He nudges me into bed and settles the covers.  He offers me a pill, the ones I take so I don't dream.  I take it without objection.  He tosses his robe on the end of the bed.  Then he crawls in the other side and shuffles closer.  

 

It's nice to be held again.  I still feel too much and nothing.  I still feel lost and unsteady.  But it's nice to be held again.  I missed this.


End file.
